Counting Down the Days

Can you believe we only have 3 more weeks in Mombasa? Crazy right!?

We are kicking into high gear trying to get everything figured out and dealt with before we leave. Its not an easy process. We will be SO ready to get to Canada once these few weeks are over. Kelvin and I often look at each other and just wish that we could leave tomorrow and not have to deal with selling our stuff, looking after the business and the project, and saying our goodbyes. As each day passes, our hearts are more and more excited to start a life in Canada.

We are also just trying to ENJOY kenya while we can. I was in nairobi this past week. We had some troubles on the bus and what was suppose to be a 7 hour ride took 11 hours. The plus side was that I got to drive through the african plains as the sun was rising and it was completely majestic. Africa is truly majestic. 

Last weekend we decided to check out Haller Park. I can actually see Haller Park from my kitchen but I have never been in it. I was surprised as to how many beautiful animals and wildlife are in my back yard!

 Giraffes will always be so gracefully goofy. 

 These monkeys (and their reproductive organs) always crack me up. Yes, his testicles are bright blue and his 'manhood' is bright red. Maybe it makes it easier for the woman to spot it?

Baby monkey!

I think someone was trying to hide.

 But this someone liked being in the middle of the road.

 Not sure what this animal is called.

They have a few hippos in the park too. Unfortunately, they weren't hungry enough to get out of the water and come eat their food. I was so looking forward to seeing their big bodies as I have only ever seen them in water. Its hard to believe they are the most dangerous creatures in Africa.

 And then it was time to feed the crocodiles. This was the big kahuna.

 For show, they like to tease the little guys and make them all jump for the meat.

These things were just wandering around in the open. They kind of look like something you might find in the mountains near my hometown.

 The greenery was so gorgeous and luscious.

 This tree was so bizarre with its neat roots system.

I used to dream of living in a place with palm trees. Now I have them right outside my window. 

We are trading in the tropics for the snow....

My first time on a wedding committee

A few days ago, I got a text message from a good friend of ours requesting that we come to his wedding committee meeting on Sunday afternoon. I have never been on a wedding committee nor did I really understand what it entailed. Kelvin and I didn't have a committee; we did all the planning and arrangements ourselves and had a few friends really help out.

I thought that we were like a select few people that were to come together and do all the planning, arranging, and fundraising for the wedding. I really got excited. Secretly, I want to be a wedding planner  in Kenya. Yes, that is my secret desire.

However, it wasn't at all what I expected.

First of all, they had asked 100 people to be on the committee. Yes, 100. And they counted Kelvin and I (together) as only 1 of the 100.

Second, they had pretty much planned every detail already and had a pretty thorough budget laid out.

Third, as a part of the committee, you are expected to give towards the wedding fund. When you agree to be a member, you agree to giving a set amount that every member is to pay. I knew that we were going to be asked to give and I actually already had a figure in mind that I wanted to give, but I didn't know that it would be required that we give a set amount.

So really, they just brought us together to pray, sing, and talk about giving. We 'discussed' the budget but the budget was already pretty much set so there wasn't really much to comment on. The committee has a chairman, treasurer and secretary. They handed us all out minutes from last meeting (which we weren't even invited to) and a budget. At every meeting we are expected to give to the "Chairman's Kitty" to help with the expenses the chairman will have as the chairman.

My thoughts were pretty mixed after leaving this meeting.

I am usually pretty quick to criticize and think of ways things could be better, but I really sat and thought about this. These were some things I liked about this:

• How communal it is and how every one comes together to support this couple. Although it seemed like they just want money, I know that they really appreciate us just being there for them, praying with them, and being involved. It's like the marriage is not just for them; there are a lot of other people involved. It's kind of nice. 
• Weddings in Kenya are expensive (well, weddings everywhere are) but they seem much more out of reach for the average Kenyan. I am told that even the family members are expected to contribute (which is how our weddings happen) but even with the family contributing, it usually is not nearly enough to cover the costs. So its nice to see friends, churches and other groups come together to contribute. 
• I guess all the different people could bring in a lot of good input so you could have some good ideas. But it also means that there will be a lot of going around in circles. 

Somethings I didn't like:

• There were a few items on the budget that I thought were a little bit ridiculous. If they had to pay for their own wedding, I am sure they would cut out some of these things. But because others are paying for it, they are doing it. 
• That everyone is expected to give a certain amount. Thankfully, Kelvin and I are in a position to give what they asked for (actually we had purposed to give more and probably will) but I would imagine that for many of the people, to come up with that money is not easy. Then, if they can't come up with the money, the members make little cards and go ask their family and friends to 'sponsor' them to 'contribute' to the wedding. Did you follow that? Yah, not so sure I like that. It is like borderline begging.
•  That the members were pretty much responsible to raise ALL the money for the wedding. The groom is usually expected to personally provide for the outfits (the wedding dress, shoes, earrings, make up, hair, tux, etc) but, in my opinion, they have to contribute a little more to their own wedding and not expect everyone else to pay for it. This particular couple has been together almost 10 years. You would think that at some point, they would start saving for their wedding. No?  I am not judging. They may have money that they can contribute. But as I chatted with some others about it, it is common for couples to expect the committee to give all the money and they just sit back and get a free wedding. 
• I am selfish. And I think I have good ideas. I would have loved to be apart of the planning process and not just be expected to give and give input that is not particularly needed. But that is my own selfishness. 

I am really thankful that we didn't have to do this. We managed to pay for our wedding with contributions from both of our families and with our own personal funds. We didn't have a ton of money so we compromised on some things. In the end, we got married and that was the goal of the day.

All in all, it was a good experience. Ultimately we are there to support our friend. This friend played a HUGE part in our wedding. We couldn't have done it without him. So we are willing to do pretty much anything to help them out. Looking forward to another celebration!!!!

"You don't live here anymore"

Last week my mom told me that I need to pack up my room before I go back to Kenya. 

"But why mom? Most of my stuff is organized in boxes. There are a few books on my shelves and pictures and some other things but my room is pretty organized." 

"Nikole, you don't live here anymore. Take your stuff to Kenya."

I wish. 

I have some good stuff. I have some awesome books. I have great kitchen supplies that I had when I was in college. I have awesome clothes. All this stuff I could use in Kenya. 

It's just getting it all there that is the problem. 

I have become pretty inventive with the way I pack so I manage to sneak a lot of little items in. However, with weight restrictions and a 2 bag limit, getting all my stuff to Kenya is a bit difficult. 

That is why I am so glad that I have 4 family members coming over for the wedding in a couple months. Each of them get 2 suitcases. My mom will need both her suitcases for her stuff. My dad and brother could probably fit all their stuff in one suitcase combined. My Baba may need her 2 as well but I am going to try convince her to give me her extra suitcase. And then they each get a carry on which they can stuff with my clothes, towels, and other non threatening items. 

So today I am packing up my room. My mom just informed me that she doesn't necessarily need me to get rid of my stuff since 'I still am their daughter' but just to organize it. I need to make piles of stuff that I want them to bring and put it in order of priority so that, if they don't have enough room, at least I will get the most important things. 

I don't know where I will put all this stuff in my house in Mombasa. Poor Kelvin will be swimming in my Canadian junk. 

The Countdown

Three months today and I get to marry my best friend, the Kelvinator!

Yah...I'm excited!

Two weeks today and I get to hop on a flight and head back to my home, my love, my life in Kenya.

Yup...I can't wait!

"Go back to Germany!"

I had a really strange encounter today.

I was waiting on the side of the road for a matatu (a public transport vehicle) when all of a sudden this older, muslim woman came out from under a shade and started yelling at me.

"Who do you think you are? Why do you come to Kenya?! You come and ruin us! Stay away from my husband! Are you a citizen? You think you can come here and disturb us? I will kill you! Go back to Germany!!"

She probably went on for a good 7 minutes just yelling at me words of hate. Meanwhile a large bus a school student pulled up right in front of me. All these heads popped out of the windows to see what the commotion was and started giggling to themselves as this woman blasted me. It was terribly embarrassing. Some people stopped just staring at her and staring at me and wondering what was happening. One guy asked me, "What happened?" I said, "I have no idea who she is. She just started yelling at me." She was getting really angry and I refused to give her the attention she was wanting from me. I thought she was moving closer to me and would try fight but she didn't. Eventually she settled down and went back to sit in the shade.

The whole thing broke my heart.

I know I didn't do anything. I had never seen the woman in my life. But she was obviously hurting. I suspect that she had been hurt by a white person somehow, maybe something to do with her husband because she kept telling me  to stay away from her husband. I didn't know if it was some crazy satanic attack or just a woman who had gone mad.

I went to my friend's place for lunch and told her the whole story. She told me that she was probably chizi (literally insane in the head). I didn't know because most crazy people I have encountered don't make sense when they talk. I actually had some crazy guy push me with his right hand in the middle of the street last week. I thought it was a friend who was trying to get my attention but it wasn't. I also had a guy tap my butt once. I turned around, gave him a stern look, and wagged my finger at him. I felt I could have slapped him or yelled at him but what would that do to a crazy man. However, this woman was speaking full english sentences and clearly knew what she was talking about.

It did make me think about how people see us whites. There are a ton of white people  in Mombasa. A lot of people come for holidays (tourism is the main industry here). Many of the older ones come and settle here seeing that life is cheaper and they can usually find a cute, young Kenyan to enjoy (note I said 'enjoy' not 'love'). Right now there are lots of young white people who have come on short volunteer things. I think it is great but there is definitely that feeling that they 'come to help the poor' and that sort of makes them superior (although most of ones I meet don't have that mentality at all but for some reason Kenyans just assume that about them). At my bible study the other night, the girls told me that, when a white is in a church, they assume they are a missionary, but when a white is wandering the street, they assume that they are sleezy.

These assumptions don't come from no where. There are whites who definitely make a bad reputation for all of us.

However, I want to be different. I think and pray about this a lot especially because I am marrying a Kenyan. We can't hide the fact that we are in a cross-cultural relationship but we do have the power to show people what a loving, selfless, Christ-centred relationship should be like no matter what the skin colour is. It will take a while to establish ourselves but it will happen eventually. Just the other day, one of my neighbours told Kelvin, "She isn't pregnant yet? Now I really believe you are Christians." This came from a young, sexy kenyan girl who married a rich, older white man who owns a few clubs in Mombasa. She sees the difference in us. Even as I walk through Kongowea, I am no longer just a white girl passing through. I belong to Kelvin and am respected for that. We still get cheeky comments here and there that hurt us, but we just shrug it off and keep going.

That woman is on my heart. I will keep praying for her and what even pain she is feeling. I will also be more careful of how I conduct myself in this city so I can portray Christ's love.

Home is where...

....the heart is.

....your family is.

....you sleep.

....you grew up.

I have been pondering lately what makes home, home.

I am heading to Canada in a week and a half. When I tell people this, this is what I say, "I am going home in a week and a half and will return home on October 6th."

What I mean is that I am going to Canada in a week and a half and will be back in Kenya on October 6th.

As I am about to officially become Kenyan (ok I don't know if I will become a citizen or not), I am starting to think about where I will really call home. What will make Kenya my home? Is it my husband or my group of friends here? I definitely don't fit in with my skin colour and english accent. I have a set up a little place here in Mombasa when I have all my stuff and get to take care of. Its my own little house. It is home in Mombasa.

Kelvin calls the village where his mom lives home even though he didn't grow up there or has never spent a huge amount of time there. In his culture, you have to at least build a house up there so you have a place to stay. But you build this house and maybe spend a few weeks a year up there. We never go to visit his mom just for a visit. We are going home and expected to help out just like it is our own home (that was a big cultural concept that I had to get used to).

I usually call Ilula my home in Kenya. I have been visiting since 2005 and the Rono's have become my Kenyan family. When I go up there, I am just like another one of their children. I am expected to clean, cook (ok not really but I should be doing it), and contribute to the household. When Angelina calls me, I answer, "Hi Mum" and then she asks me, "when are you coming home my daugher?" How did this amazing african woman become my mom and this tiny village in the middle of Kenya become my home?

But I grew up in Castlegar. That small town in the mountains of British Columbia largely shaped who I am today. It is where some of my closest friends and family is. It is where the majority of my things are. It is where my wonderful parents, brother, and dog is. But its not necessarily where my heart is. I don't plan to go back and stay there again for a long period of time.

I want to say the right spiritual thing and say that earth is not my home. Ultimately I am just passing through on my way to heaven. That is where my ultimate citizenship is. That is the truth.

But still there is that warm and wonderful feeling of home here on earth.

What about you? What makes home, home? Where do you feel most at home? Is it family, stuff, heart, where you grew up, or something else?

Coffee Guilt

I have been walking around feeling a little guilty lately. Shameful, really. Almost like I am sinning against the coffee gods.

I have succumbed to instant coffee.

When I grew up, I didn't even know how to make instant coffee. It was simply a no-no in our house. No exceptions. Taboo. Practically sinful.

It wasn't till last year in Kenya that I tried my first cup of instant coffee. I had to ask someone to show me how to do it. I had no idea how much to put in. I had never seen coffee just dissolve like sugar in water. I didn't mind the taste but it definitely didn't compare to home-brewed coffee.

However, after a year of drinking instant coffee on and off. I have to admit...


I actually... kinda...like it.

I have found a good one that I look forward to every morning (although the Starbucks VIA is my all time favourite but cannot be bought here). I do have coffee grounds but have yet to figure out a way to make a good cup of coffee without a coffee maker or french press (if anyone has any ideas, I am willing to try it.)

Instant coffee is the only coffee in Kenya. If you order a cup of coffee in a restaurant, they will bring you half a cup of hot water, a small cup of hot milk, and a package of instant coffee. It is very rare to find brewed coffee which is ironic since Kenya is known for coffee. Much of the world's coffee (including Starbucks) comes from Kenya. Have you ever heard of  Karen Blixen or the movie/book Out of Africa? The best cup of coffee I have ever had is in a coffee shop in Nairobi called Java House where they serve amazing, brewed, Kenyan coffee. Kenya has good coffee, but for some reason they have succumbed to instant.

But for now, I will enjoy my instant coffee.

Finally some good customer service.

Customer service in Kenya is completely backwards.

It drives me up the wall.

My mother owned a retail store while I was growing up. She was an amazing saleslady with her number one priority being to get the customer what they need. Her business did very well  and people grew to love and trust her. After watching her for 9 years, I picked up the same skills and mentality that she had. I have a pretty good handle on what customer service really is.

In Canada (and other developed countries), the salesperson or business owner depends on the customer to bring in their income. Therefore, their greatest interest is to serve the customer in a way so that they will keep coming back and buying their products. They value the customer because they realize that, without the customer, there would be no business.

Kenya is the complete opposite.

The business owner in Kenya often has the mentality that they are providing a service to their customers since, without them, their customers won't have what they need to survive.

A couple examples:

• I go up to the desk to pay for my item. I hand the cashier (often the person who owns the business) a large bill. He doesn't have any change (which is always the case in Kenya). He then looks at me as if it is MY problem that HE doesn't have change for me. He expects me to start rummaging through my purse to see if I can muster up enough coins while he sits there and stares at me impatiently. I usually drop what I wanted to purchase and leave the store to find someone else who has change. 
• Matatus, privately owned public transport, pick people up at any point on the side of the road. I will stand at the roadside and see a matatu coming with the conductor signalling to me to see if I want to get in. I raise my eyebrows showing him that I chose his matatu to get in to. The matatu then screeches to a halt a few feet ahead of me. As I am walking towards it, the conductor then says,"Ah, faster mummy, faster!" I take a good look at him and step away from the car. YOU need ME to get into your car so that YOU can get my money yet YOU are RUSHING ME? No thanks, I will just wait for the next matatu. There are plenty of them. 

And the list goes on. 

I realize that I making some big generalizations here. Not all Kenyans are like this. Let me tell you about Louisa. 

Two weeks ago I was complaining to my friend Louisa about how itchy my bed bug bites are (yes, I am still battling those pesky bugs). She mentioned to me a product that she sells that would help with that itchiness. She explains to me the company and give me all the information. I then remember a friend telling me about another product from this same company that she said works really well. So I ask my friend Louisa about it and she gave me more details. I was intrigued. She then suggests that we meet at a certain time and place and look into it a bit more. 

Today we finally met after a few weeks of trying to catch each other. She came all the way to where I was so that it was convenient for me. She sat me down and explained to me everything. She even reassured me that my money would be returned after 30 days if I didn't like the product (which means that she wouldn't get her commission). Her genuine interest was my need. She really wanted to help me out. She knew her products really well and took the time to discuss them all with me and answer all my questions. By the end of our meeting, I wanted to buy everything from her. I ended up walking out with a product (and a few extra ones) that I feel confident about. 

Finally some great customer service. 

Kenya running on empty

Kenya is experiencing a major fuel shortage. For the past 3 days, petrol stations around the country have run completely dry of fuel. It has caused chaos in the major cities, especially Nairobi, where people heading to work lined up in cues for hours just to get a few drops to get them around for the day. People even got out of their cars with  jerry cans and lined up at the gas pumps. Tempers were high and emotions were running wild. Traffic was backed up all over the cities. No fuel at all.

I haven't personally seen it. I haven't travelled too far from my house the past few days but I am told that parts of Mombasa are experiencing the same.

The big questions is where is the fuel? There have been confirmed reports that there is indeed fuel in Kenya. Lots of fuel in Kenya. So why isn't it getting to the pumps.

No one really knows the reason. People are blaming the government, the fuel companies, and the other big wigs involved. There are claims that they are hoarding it in order to make prices go higher. Some are saying there is a miscommunication between the people at the top. Whatever the reason, Kenyans are suffering. Big time.

It is so hard to see the small people getting hurt because of the big people's actions. It's the local people who are continuing to suffer while the big people continue to control everything. Kenyans are crying out for justice. Kenyans are crying out for leaders who actually care about them. But nothing seems to be happening.

Anyways, as I watched the news this morning, my heart sank. Kenya, you are in my prayers.

here is an article about the fuel shortage in today's paper if you are interested.

An extra few shillings here, there, and everywhere

In the past week or so, the cost of living in Kenya has increased. And it is hitting Kenyans hard.

Recently, public transportation increased their rates by 10 or 20 shillings to all destinations. My preferred minced meat package in the supermarket has gone up to 180KES from 160KES. Our favourite restaurant increased all its prices last week and we used to go there because the food was so cheap. Gas is now as expensive as it is in Canada. On the news yesterday, I heard that the government is trying to increase minimum wage but that is proving to be difficult. Even if minimum wage is increased, there are still thousands of people who are exploited and are paid significantly less than minimum wage.

Even for me, the white person, the increased cost in living has made me reach deeper into my pockets just to live.

I can't even imagine how the average Kenyan is struggling. I think it is particularly hard because everything is becoming more expensive so fast. It is not a gradual increase and its not just in one commodity but in almost every aspect of life here.

The government is feeling the pressure and has started to reduce the costs of some things but it is not nearly enough to make any impact.

I guess I am asking you to keep Kenyans in your prayers. Pray that even their most basic needs will be met. Pray that their hearts would draw closer to God through all this.

This is why I love Kenya

My time in Ilula was fantastic (as always). I stayed much shorter than I thought I would. I actually was excited to get back to Mombasa and continue working there. My few days in Ilula were just what I needed to clear my head and fall in love with this place all over again. The people, the smells, the landscape, the food, the songs, the singing, the dancing, the cows, the sun, the dirt roads, etc. So wonderful. 

Here are some pics of my days there. I had an incredible time catching up with kids and staff there. They bring such joy to my life. 

Mercy and Me. She has been a precious friend to me over the last 5 years. She has such a tender and joyful heart. She loves the Lord with all that is in her. 

I was fortunate to be able to see the boys who had gone to high school because they had come home for half term. I was so impressed with how mature, responsible, and handsome they have become. 

We celebrated birthdays while I was there. They usually celebrate birthdays each month for the kids in that month. This was so cute to see the little ones right up front waiting for a piece of delicious banana cake.

Apollo taking a big bite!

Lydia's smile.

My precious sponsor child Valentine. 

My tree! I planted it almost 2 years ago and it just keeps growing. 

The kids were all lined up waiting for the arrival of the bore hole drilling truck that they have been raising money for and praying for for 2 years now. 

Finally the convoy of drilling trucks arrived! It was quite emotional for everyone. They will be drilling a hold 120m into the ground to get unlimited, fresh, clean water. This will cut down huge costs for the property and they will be able to do some income generating agricultural projects as well. 

Baby Caleb. Only 6 months old. I just love his lion/sunshine hat.

I just loved this moment. This is Nixon and Eliud. Eliud is a shy, awkward, different kinda kid. He has never really fit in and has always been in the shadow of the other kids. He came up to Nixon, who is one of the parents at the children's home, and Nixon wrapped his arms around him and said with so much excitement and sincerity, "Hi Eliud! oh it is so good to see you. I love you so so much!" They hugged for about 5 minutes. Eliud walked away with this gigantic smile on his face. I am not sure he would get that kind of love if he wasn't in the children's home. I got teary-eyed standing there watching it all happen. 

 I am back in Mombasa and feeling so much better about what is happening in my life. I didn't get any straight answers from God about the big questions I had for him - well not yet at least. He just kept encouraging me to go day by day, step by step, in trusting Him and where He is leading me. He rarely gives us His big plans for us. Most of the time he shows us step by step. He lights the path in front of our feet but not in the distance. So I am in content in waiting on Him for now.

But things are moving along here in Mombasa. I am lovin my new place and all the work that is going into getting it all set up. Its a lot but its fun. Also spent the morning with my Kenyan colleagues discussing the plans for the Rehma boys and we are so excited about it! I will update more once we have set everything in place.

Thanks for your prayers this past week. They were heard.

Culture Shock

I have arrived in Kenya safe and sound. I had two smooth, long flights with a large layover and even managed to get my bags all in tact. I was so grateful just to have my feet on the ground once we landed in Kenya. 

However, today has been a really rough day for me. My culture shock kicked in within an hour or so of arriving. I really don't know what triggered it. There is such a flurry of emotions and thoughts and feelings running through my head. I know that there were things that definitely contributed to it like the terrible service I got on my Kenya Airways flight. They were the worst flight attendants I have ever encountered in my life. I was one of the lucky ones who didn't get coffee spilt all over their lap. 

Then the person who was suppose to come pick me up was late due to circumstances that couldn't be avoided. I then was told that my accommodation plans had fallen through so I needed to find another  place to stay for a couple days before I head to Mombasa. I was brought to a cousin's house who offered for me to stay there but once I got in, I knew I wouldn't be comfortable there. At this point, I was exhausted from all the travelling, desperately needed to brush my teeth and shower, and would have loved some good quiet time with just me. I was not going to find any of this at the cousin's house. So I decided that I would like to stay in a cheap but decent hotel that I know of downtown. Well, we were so far out of the city that we needed to get a matatu to get to a taxi that would come and pick up all my luggage and then drive all the way to town. The friend I was with needed to go to a bank before it closed at 2pm and we found out that the only one that wouldn't have huge line ups just happened to be in the largest slum in Africa. So we took a cruise through the slum and waiting outside while my friend did some banking. This slum is so overwhelming with all the poverty, smells, sewage, laziness, dirt, garbage, etc. I have toured it before but today was probably not the best day to do it again. 

Finally we arrived at a hotel and booked in. I had a good cry because I was so overwhelmed and just wanted my parents. I was almost ready to get on the plane and head back to Canada. I then slept for 5 hours which was a combination of exhaustion and jet lag. I woke up in tears again but after some prayers and a good talk and walk around the block, I am feeling a bit better. 

This whole day just reminded me of the first time I came to Kenya in 2005. I was miserable for the first 2 weeks of my trip. Just like today, I felt so out of place, was so tired, trying to adjust to the culture, and just questioning my life in general. Today was a flashback to those horrible two weeks. However, looking back at it, I learned so much from that experience that totally helped me get through this day. So that was a blessing in itself. 

So please pray for me. Pray for wisdom, direction, discernment, peace, joy, etc. I know I love Kenya. I know I do. This trip is just a little different as I really don't have much of a game plan. Tonight I pondered what my days would actually look like and I honestly couldn't think of much. I pondered some of my decisions and relationships in my life. I pondered about how nice it would be to be at home with my family right now. 

But I  did manage to open my bible today and the first verse I read was Proverbs 20:24 (the Message) 

"The very steps we take come from God; otherwise how would we know where we are going?"

Thank you God for guiding my steps even when I don't fully understand where I am going...

Feb 17th - Here I come Kenya!

I booked my ticket back to Kenya. February 17th is the big day of departure! I was just elated as I walked out of the travel agents office. I have been on cloud 9 all day.

It is also a one way ticket!

I know. Scary. But oh so exciting.

Let me tell you the story...

I was originally planning to head back to Kenya in May. I wanted to work for a few months to get the numbers in my bank account a little higher. I also needed to spend some sweet time with my family. I wanted to talk to some people about the Rehma and hopefully gain some support for them.

Well all that went out the window pretty fast. It has not been an easy few months. Pretty much all of MY plans didn't happen. I struggled big time. I could not get a job for the life of me! I must have applied to 15 different places (which is a lot when you consider what a small town I live in with few employment opportunities) and heard nothing. Nothing at all. For weeks. I started getting pretty bummed. I started doubting myself wondering what was wrong with me. One place I applied at hired a 14 year old boy over me! Although, I thought it was great because the owners were Christians and totally take the most random odd beat people on their staff.

Besides the failed job hunt, a few other plans of mine fell through and I was devastated. My health started to deteriorate again which always happens when I am in Canada. And the list goes on.

However, amongst all these disappointments, I got to have the most precious times in the hospital with my Deda before he died. I think he, above all, was the reason I was home. I found such unexpected joy visiting him in the hospital and spending hours at his bedside talking, holding his hand, praying or just being there while he slept. Incredible blessing.

Around Christmas I started getting antsy really asking God where He wanted me to be. I struggled big time. It was probably the first time in my life that I didn't have a plan. I didn't wake up in the mornings looking forward to anything. I didn't know where to go or what to do. I was lost. And I was scared.

Slowly the idea of going back to Kenya sooner started arising in my mind and, thankfully, in the mind of my parents. My dad, of all people, was the one who almost encouraged me to consider going back sooner.

I started praying  and seeking God. I started looking into flights and talking with good people I am accountable too. I debated what to do when I get there and tried to find some actual jobs in Kenya. All this led me to purchase my one-way ticket this morning!

Yup I am leavin' on a jet plane. Don't know when I'll be back again.

You must think I am crazy by now. But trust me there is more logic to it than you think. I am a very logical person. I don't make a decision without really thinking it all the way through. But sometimes God is not a very logical God. Which is not easy for us logical, always planning, realistic folk.

My main purpose for going back would be to work with the Rehma boys (I have collected almost all the equipment the boys need!) and to nurture and pursue a very special relationship in my life.

I would greatly appreciate your prayers. This is such an exciting leap of faith for me! Pray for my parents as their little girl goes off again to Africa this time not knowing when I will be back. Pray for finances (I would love to get a job in Kenya! it is quite difficult though). Pray for my everyday that God would guide me where He wants me and that I would humble myself enough to listen to Him. Just Pray.

Kenya, here I come again!

birthdays, fun church services, singing, singing, and more singing

Ok more videos!

This first video is my 22nd birthday. I remember being quite sad in the morning missin' my peeps back home but my classmates very quickly made me feel loved abundantly. My roommate made me a cake and we had a big party. However, as you will see, their version of 'Happy Birthday' is much...rowdier...than ours.

We went to a school just down the road to speak to them however just as we got there the rain came pouring down. The roof was tin so you couldn't hear the person next to you with the rain pelting down on the tin roof. So to kill time we sang. It was a blast!

We travelled to a slum on the other side of the city to attend one of their sunday services. The slum was a whole bunch of broken down cement buildings with extremely dusty and dirty paths seperating them. Then, all of a sudden, you see this bright blue tin church right in the middle of it. It was quite a lively church. We squished in like sardines in a can as beads of sweat dripped down our faces. 

This was one of the most popular (and one of my fav) songs in Kenya this year. We organized a big youth seminar but before the sessions we had to do a little worship session with Senior, our talented musician. 

When you pretty much spend every hour of everyday with the same people for 4 months, you grow really close to one another. This video I took while we went on a weekend camping trip. We all got on this rickety wharf (which looked like it would cave in at any moment) that was perched above a lake that was known for its dangerous hippos and we had a little impromptu singing session. These moments would happen all the time. They were so precious.

Video!

Yesterday, after another tough day, I decided to look through some of the short video clips that I had taken during various adventures this past year. They bring so much joy to me. They are more than photos. When I watch them, I can remember how I felt, what it smelt like, what the atmosphere was like, and so on. So I have uploaded a few of them and will be sharing them on here every few days or so. Most of them, if not all of them, are singing and dancing. I think my favourite part of Kenya is the singing and dancing and worship styles. Kenyans have such rhythm and these loud, almost boisterous, voices.

Ok, these two videos are of the 800 girls that we visited when we went to their high school in september. I love girls! I have such a huge heart for the young girls of Kenya so this weekend was so nourishing and amazing for me. Now, I guess this school has a special theme song which I had never heard before. Our first night there, they started playing the beats on the keyboard and all of a sudden all the girls went crazy. They started screaming the lyrics at the top of their lungs and jumping around. It was so much fun. Imagine being in a room with 800 girls with such excitement.

5 years ago today...

.. at the tender age of 17 years old, I stepped onto the property that would change my life. After travelling for 8 hours on long, dusty, bumpy roads, crying the whole way and then getting into a city where I didn't know anyone or any place or what to do, I found someone who knew someone who knew someone who took me to Empowering Lives International Children's Home in Ilula, Kenya. December 6, 2005 was the first time I went to my 'home' in Kenya. I showed up in pants which, I was quickly told, was a no-no. I was crying with no idea where I was and wanting to go home. I was greeted with such incredible warmth and love and acceptance. I was astounded that the children's home was so 'luxurious'. I had braced myself for much worse. I remember being put into a dorm with some ladies I didn't know. I had supper with a team from America who was there. 

And then I was brought to the other side where the children slept. It was dark and they were just getting ready for bed. However, they knew that a visitor was coming and they all scurried out of their rooms. Within seconds my waist was full of tiny little arms, hugging me tightly and welcoming me home. It was the most incredible night. I had dreamt since I was a little girl of coming to an orphanage in Africa and I was finally there. 

Little did I know that it would be the first of a bajillion hugs from these children. Since then, I have visited Ilula more than 10 times. I have been so blessed to be apart of the children's lives and watch them grow up into the amazing young people they are. Some of them are now almost 17 years old which was how old I was when I first met them. The staff have become some of my greatest friends and supporters of my ministry in Kenya. And the director and his family, the Ronos, are like my own family. When I sit in their living room, I know that I am home. 

I AM SO GRATEFUL that God brought me to Ilula. It was an extremely rocky journey, but God has an amazing plan and nothing can hinder His purpose. 

I have a 'home' in Kenya filled with a family and siblings who love me like one of their own. 

Here are only a few of the hundreds (possibly thousands) of photos I have taken over the past 5 years. 

John, Emmanuel, and Esther made me feel so welcome. They are now some of my greatest friends. Emmanuel(far right) is now a giant and towers over me. Esther (with the bandana) is in the US fulfilling her dream of entering the medical field. And John (behind) is studying engineering in a local university. My brothers and sister! 

Leah (right) and I go back to my first night in Ilula. When I arrived, they put me in a dorm with some other ladies who were there for a pastor's conference. One of the ladies just happened to be Leah and her daughter. I didn't remember her until she was hired on as staff about 2 years ago. She quickly reminded me who she was and our connection and we laughed! She is teaching me to make mandazi.

In 2005, I spent my first Christmas away from home. I remember us waking up at around 6am and being summoned to the kitchen to cook a special meal for the children. We worked so hard for these precious children. I remember the satisfaction I felt treating the kids to something special when I am so used to being spoilt on Christmas morning. I have now almost mastered cooking the local food. 

One thing I love about going to Ilula is that I always end up meeting some cool people who have come to serve for a short time. This is Jamie who I met in May this year. She had such a gentle spirit and loved to treat the kids to her special baked treats. There are so many others that I still love to keep in contact with. Such cool people. 

This is Valentine. I love her. She is my sponsor child. It is rare for someone to actually know their sponsor child but I have had the privilege to actually see her grow and be a part of her life. I get to know what her personality is like. I get to see her giggle and play and cry and go to school. I get to see where my money goes. It is so special. 

I have learned to dig. Or at least I try. 

The girls are my fav. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE them. My fav is spending my nights with them laughing and singing and answering their questions about life, God and everything in between.

 LOVE LOVE LOVE <3

I love when they play with my hair and touch my arms and wrap themselves around my waist.

These are just some of the parents. This is when they only had 1 child. Now they have 3 beautiful boys. The boy in this picture is now 5 years old and plays a mean game of UNO. 

My Kenyan family. I know I look different, but when I am in their house I feel no different.

I will never get tired of their welcome ceremonies. I always get teary-eyed even if it is not me being welcomed. 

These 4 are siblings who watched their mother get struck by lightening and die. I remember the oldest, Mercy(far right) explaining to me the whole story during a thunder storm one day. She broke down in tears as she feared the lightening. 

I had no idea when I ended up in Ilula on December 6, 2005 that my life would change. I had no idea that I would encounter God the way that I did and the way I do every time I go up there. I have learned so much from these beautiful people. I almost forget they are orphans now. To me they are just kids. God's kids. 

The final minutes.

I am sitting in the Nairobi airport after some rather tearful (ok extremely tearful!) goodbyes.

Now I feel at peace and am ready to get on the plane.

I didn't sleep very well last night. I knew I had to get up early this morning so I kept checking the clock every hour or so. I also had so much running through my head. So I was wide awake at 4am this morning.

I got to their airport super early. We crossed the city in less than 20 minutes when it would usually take 45mins. I got to the airport only to find that my bags were too heavy. I am so used to being able to take 2 bags that are about 23kgs. However, I get to the check-in both and the lady tells me that I am only allowed 30kgs in total. (Maybe it is a Kenya Airways rule since this is the first time I have flown with them) Yesterday, I actually purged some items and sent them to Mombasa to be kept for me when I return so I thought that my bags were pretty light.

So after the lady told me that my bags were too heavy, I asked her, "So what do I have to do?"

She just sort of looked at me like it was not her problem. The fact is that she really didn't know what I was suppose to do.

Ah yes, this is still Kenya.

She then says that I have to go to another booth to buy for extra luggage. She said it depends on my final destination. I told her I was going to Canada. Then she said she didn't know. Then she came up with a solution.

'Why don't you just take out about 3kgs and put it in your carry on luggage?'

I thought to myself 'But my bags are about 6kgs over the weight?'

So I opened my bags right there and took out a couple of my bibles (which are the heaviest things in my bags) and stuffed them into my backpack. However, it wasn't 3kgs. It was maybe only 2 or less. She looked at me and said, 'Ah yes, thats ok.'

If this was Canada, that would never fly. I just wondered how many other bags were overweight or how many other things are being looked over. But I am choosing not to think of those things and trust in my God. He knows what is on and not on my plane. He knows what is going to happen. So why must I worry???

My frustration with Kenyan systems hit an all time high yesterday when I went to immigration and told me that my work permit had STILL not been completed even though it had been 5 months since I applied and they told me it would be finished last week. I was so upset. I pushed my way through to some of the top people. The issue was that it had been approved but not signed. The lady who was suppose to sign it was sitting in her office with the permit right in front of her yet she wouldn't sign it. I don't know why. She was just being difficult. Maybe she was looking for a bribe. So I pushed and begged and screamed at the people to give me my permit and finally it got done. I started to feel bad thinking I went to far but I just kept reminding myself that I was fighting for my rights. It was not my fault that it has taken so long to get it. It is nothing I have done so why should I have to suffer because of someone's laziness????

I stayed in immigration for 2 hours even after they had officially closed. The lady who stamped my passport said I was the luckiest person to get this done. I didn't think I was lucky. A lucky person would have had no problems. I just decided to stand up for myself for once.

So I am leaving Kenya with a 3 year work permit (am only allowed to work as a missionary) with the ability to enter the country as many times as I want without paying anything. This is a huge blessing!!

Alright, I must get going. Looking forward to sitting near the window and flying over Africa! Hope I can see some great landscapes!

1 more sleep in Kenya

It's almost that time. I am in my final hours here in Kenya. In less than 24hours I will be on a plane back to Canada.

It's bittersweet. I can't describe how I am feeling. I go back and forth between being sad to leave and excited to get home.

I am in Word of Life Kabete. I am actually staying in the room across from the one that I stayed in my first night in Kenya. I woke up this morning and reflected on the last 11 months and all that has happened. I thanked God for the numerous things He has taught me, the good and bad times I have gone through and learned so much from, and for the amazing people I have been blessed to encounter. I reflected on the ministry and the lives I have seen changed because of Christ. I recounted the many laughs and cries that I have had. I am so grateful for the the ways that He has transformed me to become more like Him.

I don't feel like I will be in Canada for too long. I can't stay away from here too long. I am still praying about the path that God is leading me down right now. I am excited for the many dreams and visions He has given me for my future.  My heart beats harder and faster to see Him being glorified.

I am not sure what is waiting for me at home. My mother says that my room is a mess and my closet has no clothes. I know that it is beginning to snow and the Christmas season is starting up. I hope to meet my grandfather in the hospital. I got news today that he has taken a turn for the worst and no one knows what is going to happen. I pray I can see him again. My brother has moved out so it will be the first time I will be at home and he will not be there. I have missed a whole year of tv shows, movies, and music so I will be very much behind. I will have to learn to speak with a canadian accent again. My Kenyan one is embarrassing.

With all these thoughts in my head, I have purposed to enjoy my last day in Kenya. I drank fresh milk from the cow this morning. I am sitting listening to the birdies sing sweet melodies to me. And I am letting my face soak in the warm sun one last time.

I will be back in Castlegar on Sunday so feel free to pass by or call the house if you wish.

The final days

Only 3 more sleeps and I will be on the plane back to Canada. As the days go by, I am getting more sad to leave yet more excited to get home. I am excited for seeing my precious family and friends. I am excited for NICE things like toilets that actually flush and stoves that you don't have to light with a match. I am excited for nice customer service and sweet coffee shops. I am looking forward to sane driving and police that are not corrupt. Slowly my heart is getting excited to come home.

Although I am going to miss so much here. I just love Kenya. And now I am so used to life here that I often don't remember how things are back home. I am sure I will get confused a few times when I get home. Simple things like waiting in line, saying 'please' and 'thank you' or sitting at a table in a restaurant with just the people you came with and not other people who need a seat. It's funny things like these that I will have to adjust back to. So please be patient with me.

I have been traveling this past week. I left Mombasa after saying goodbye to my co-workers and good friends. I traveled to Nairobi and then on to Eldoret the next day to visit the children at the children's home. As I crawled out of the van, they all came rushing to give me big hugs. They are getting taller and more filled out so now they give these big, hearty hugs. It makes anyone feel like the most loved person in the world. They updated me about life at the home. They just couldn't stop chatting my ear off about all that has happened while I was gone and, of course, they had endless questions about my work, where I have been, my ministry, my family, and pretty much everything else.

I spent about 4 days in Eldoret relaxing, reflecting, and just allowing myself to be loved on by such amazing people. I spent my mornings with the little kids on the property. Many of them did not exist when I came 5 years ago. I had the privileged of witnessing one of the little boys taking his first steps on Christmas in 2005. Now, we play UNO and run around in the field and then lay in the grass talking together. It was so precious.

I attended the opening of another children's home It was a long day with numerous speeches but I enjoyed seeing the community come together to support these orphaned children. It also gave me some ideas about my children's home (I mean the one I have dreamed about having since I was a little girl.)

I left Eldoret on Sunday and came back to Nairobi to catch up with old friends, work on my work visa and do some last minute shopping. I traveled to Kijabe yesterday and had a wonderful time with my hospital friends.

So that's what is happening. I hope to blog at least one more time before I leave. If not, I will arrive in Canada on friday evening then head to kelowna to see my brother and grandfather (who is still in the hospital but is doing much better!) then will be back in Castlegar on Sunday! So feel free to contact me. Can't wait to see all of you (or hear your voices if you don't live around me)!

The beginning of my African adventures!

I was going through some of my old emails today and I stumbled across this one. This is an update I had written to some family and friends after my very first trip to Kenya in December 2005. It's amazing to think that that was almost 5 years ago! My first trip to Kenya was monumental for me. It was probably one of the most significant experiences in my life and my walk with God. I came back transformed with a new Love and a fired up passion for Africa. 

*Note that I haven't changed anything so spelling and grammatical errors are in abundance. But keep in mind, I was only 17 and writing was definitely not my forte.

Hey Everyone!

 well i thought that i would write all of you and tell you a little of my african experience since you all have supported me not only financially but also through your thoughts and prayers. I GREATLY appreciate everything you have done.

 I am sure you have heard the little things about my trip like seeing all The african animals and having to bath in a bucket. But i experienced far more than that. The first sunday i was there i went to the church that is a branch of my church. My oh my i have never seen anyone worship the lord more. there were maybe 20 people in it but they were louder than the congregation at home which has almost 150-200 people in it. it really touched me. I couldn't stop smiliing cause it was amazing. you see these people and they have practically nothing yet they are thanking and worshipping the lord for everything they have..it was so inspiring to me. BUt little did i know that that was only the beginning of my journey...

 I then left my group and went to the orphanage. It was one of the hardest days of my life because i had to leave these people and go with some stranger in a foreign country to an orphanage that i knew not much about.

 It scared me but reality also kicked in. this had been my dream for so long and this was the day that it was going to come true. so i think i cried for about 9 hours straight haha. when i got to the orphanage a big white man came out to greet me and my heart was at ease. i ate dinner then i got a tour of the orphanage. It was night time so all the kids were supposed to be sleeping but they heard me coming and as i approached their rooms i could here whispers. then a couple came out and gave me hugs, and then more came,then more, and more, and before i knew it all 90 of them were surrounding me and hugging me and loving on me. it was everything i iamgined..so amazing..i went back to my room and cried.

 The next couple days were difficult to me. I had huge culture shock and missed home like crazy. I would cry and cry and pray that i could get a plane ride home early...wel what do you know..god answered my prayer and I got a plane ticket home. Well i then started tohave better days and start to get to love the people and the day before i was supposed to leave i was so upset and i prayed that God would give me what is in my heart. well god pulled through agaiN!! i missed my ride back to nairobi and was unable to come home. wow that really gave me so much confidence in the lord... from then i realized that i could get through anything because he is A LWAYSwith me. When i am homesick and feeling alone i know that he is right beside me. HE also showed me that he would never put a problem or circumstance in my life that he knew i couldn't overcome. HE doens't want to see me fail...he wants me to succeed and to learn to lean on him. Well the day that i found out i was going to stay was probably the most relaxed and comfortable day I had there. i started to embrace the people and i wanted to learn more about the lifestyle. Everyone could tell that i was happy. One of the little girls said to me " you have a smile on your face and you are happy now. I was praying for you to be happy and for you to stay" i couldn't believe that god pulled through for that little girl too.

 WEll as days passed i became more and more hungry for god. i Wanted to Learn and soak up as much of him as i could. I learned about him through the kids. EVEry night before dinner they would have devotions. well my first devotions i sat next to one of the older girls whose name was mercy jepcosgai. She was leading all of the songs thatnight. I looked up at her and it hit me. She was an orphan but look at what she is doing now. SHe has so much faith in the lord because you see what she has come from to where she is now and the  only way to describe it is because of the grace of god. She is not sad because her parents died, she has the lvoe of god. Well devotions were some of my favorite times there. One time a girl asked me if people in Canada drink beer. I told her that some do then she asked if people in Canada know jesus and i told her that some do. she told me that everyone should know jesus. another time i was going to say good night to some of the girls and i walk aroudn and there is a little girl who was only 4 years old and she was running around the room yelling "god is good all the time." it was funny because she probably knows what it  means but she doesn't know any english.there were so many little moments with the kids that i wish i could have on tape because they were so precious.

I lived with a family who had 5 children who were all around my age. I fell absolutly in love with all of them. THey were all children who loved and worshiped the lord and they really showed me the type of people that i need to surround myself with here in canada. i learned so much from them and considered them my brothers and sisters. another cool thing was to know that they would go through the same things that kids in north america go through. The have boy problems or girl problems or peer pressure or self consciousness...that was some thing i didn't expect to find in africa

 Well in my 4 weeks in kenya i learned, and saw and experienced more than some people do in their lifetime. I am still trying to process it. I know that i have now a new appreciation for everything i have and i will try to embrace things more. I know that in life somethings really aren't as important as we think they are adn that we need to focus more on those that are important like god, family, friends, etc.  I have realized who my true friends are. I now feel like i could conquer anything!

 I know now that that's my passion. Everyone has different passions whether it's volleyball or art or sports or business. Mine is children in africa and my dream is one day to run my own orphanage in africa.

 ANyways i hope that i gave you lots of insight of my trip. there is so

 Much more i would love to tell you but i would be writing emails for hours. I would love to hear from you all..what you think and all..i am attaching a picture of my and mercy jepcosgai. After she made me cry in devotions, i began to fall in love with her and she became my favorite kid. i wanted to take her home and hug her and shower her with my love and money.

 well i thank god for your love and support

 god bless

 nikoLe

Mercy Jepcosgei and I in 2005

This orphanage is now my home and the family is now my family. I still visit often when I can. The kids mentioned are still some of my favourite kids on earth. I love being apart of their lives till today. The passion for Africa has only grown. Actually, in the recent months, my heart to start my own children's home one day is flaring up again. I have been dreaming a lot about what it would look like and where it would be and the children I would have in it. And of course my Maker, Best Friend, Companion, Lover, Father, Protector, Provider, Saviour is still right by my side.