A Reminder

God tends to remind me that life is not all that bad just when I think things are falling apart.

I mentioned that our last two weeks have just been one thing after another. And it has yet to stop. For example, after finishing the injections in my buttocks, I woke up with a terrible head cold that quickly turned to fever/cough. Thankfully, I woke up feeling a thousand times better this morning and actually had some energy to get out of the house. But I also discovered that my hot water kettle (that I only bought 6 months ago) plus the large fluorescent light bulb in my kitchen have both decided to fritz out on me. And those aren't cheap to replace. Then we discovered yesterday that one of our boys, who we had helped with some medical issues, actually took the money we gave him for medication and used it to pay rent. He has been avoiding us for months and finally came to fess up to Kelvin yesterday. Unfortunately, he came in desperation for more money since he was now being kicked out of his house and still hadn't taken the medication. Kelvin denied as he didn't have any money and now we are confused on how to really help this guy.

You see, its not really huge, life altering things, it just seems to be one disappointment after another.

However, God gave me a reminder of His goodness today at church. Our youth pastor preached an awesome sermon. At one point, he was explaining a passage in the bible (don't remember which one - bad christian!) but then he paused and said,

"Don't get disappointed so easily. God is still working."

As simple as that, just don't get disappointed so easily. Keep moving on. Things will change. God is working. He is indeed there and does actually have good plans for me. Stop hanging your head, rolling your eyes, or getting downright upset over these small, insignificant things that happen.

Then our service leader thought it would be good to call up all the orphans in the congregation and pray for them. This was actually a very bad and embarrassing idea. The ones who stood up (there were many orphans who didn't out of embarrassment) were asked to come to the front to be prayed for. Again, it struck me in the gut that life is actually not so bad. Some are worse off than me. Some suffer constant disappointments and suffering.

 I tried so hard to fight back the ugly cry.

I am seriously SO SO blessed. Even when everything just keeps falling apart, I am STILL blessed. May I learn to focus on all the blessings and push through all the disappointments. 

A Sweet Blessing

While we were on the matatu to church, Kelvin got a call from a friend of his. This friend was really anxious to see Kelvin. He wanted to meet him asap. Kelvin asked why. The guy said, "I want to give you 200bob (about $2.50)." Kelvin giggled. Our friend just wanted to give us something. He must have gotten some work somewhere and wanted to bless us with the cash he made.

We have taken in this friend numerous times. He had some particular issues with his mental health as well as with his family. During that time, he told us that our house was the only place he really felt at peace so he would show up at night and just want somewhere peaceful to rest his head. We have also hired him to help us out with moving, carpentry jobs, security, etc. 

Anyways, we explained to him we were on our way to church so he can send it to us through MPESA (a bank system on our phones). He hung up and then we didn't hear from him again. 

On our way home from church, Kelvin received a text from MPESA telling him he received 500bob ($6.50) from our friend. Ha! I am not sure why but he decided to send us over double what he wanted to. I was seriously humbled. We ended up treating ourselves to some drinks and snacks as we watched the Arsenal game that afternoon. 

Maybe I have like some sort of "white pride" issue in my head that thinks that people always want money out of me or that I am always the one who has to give. I think thats the way the majority of people think when they see white people. But when skin colour fades away, we are left with friendship and friends give and bless one another. 

I am constantly amazed at the ways Kenyans give. I truly believe they give way more than we do. In terms of monetary value, we probably give more but in terms of sacrifice, they are way ahead of us. 

One family, who is particularly close to me, has never had a vacation! The parents are well into their fifties now and yet have never taken a chance to get out, relax, enjoy the fruits of their labour. If they ever have any extra money (which is rare) they take another kid into their family puts them in school.

My husband has been a really good example of sacrificial giving. He has really challenged me to give even when its uncomfortable. Even this month, he promised a few people he would give to them (which we were really excited to do since we are excited for them and where God is taking them). He let me know and then we had to figure out how to budget the rest of the month. It means that maybe we only eat meat once or twice a week, cut down on our internet use, and do a little less 'leisure'. And can I just tell you that we have NEVER lacked? In fact, God has blessed us in the most amazing of ways. Our God is awesome. 

What about you? Do you give out of your excess? Do you ever give even if it means you live a little less comfortable? Are you ever really excited to give to someone or something? 

The first meeting

I remember seeing a dark shadow walking down the dark hallway. My first thought was that he was short and walked with a kink. Rahab (my beloved friend) had just introduced herself to me and welcomed me to Word of Life. Cheery and welcoming as she always is, she offered to take me around and introduce me to people. She was closing the kitchen door when the dark shadow appeared into the light.

"This is Kevin. Or o-pie-o!" she introduced (yes, Rahab was actually the one who introduced us). They all laughed. I didn't get it.

We all sat on some rocks right near the kitchen and told stories. They made the effort to speak in english but I still didn't say much. They replayed the funny parts on their favourite tv show and burst into laughter. I didn't think it was funny. I remember wondering why Kelvin was laughing so much...it wasn't funny. I didn't think much of him. Nice to meet him. That's it.

A half hour later he invited me to watch the tv show they were all talking about. He practically peed himself in the corner while I still struggled to understand why it was funny. It was nice he was making the effort to make me feel welcome.

I forget the rest of the night but it was the start of the most confusing yet wonderful 3 weeks of my life.

I was going through a confusing time in my life and just wanted to hear from God. I just wanted to reconnect with Him. I was so hungry for some direction from my heavenly Father. But over the next week, I developed the strangest attraction to Kevin or Calvin (took me a while to figure out it was Kelvin). I prayed, repented, and begged God to get my focus away from him. I felt like I was in eight grade again and got butterflies every time my crush passed by my locker.

A week and a half later, we found ourselves in the office chatting after a long day of camp. By the morning, we had literally decided to get married.

Yes, we decided to. We had feelings for each other but it was more of an intellectual decision.

When I look back, it was truly crazy. But I am so thankful for that conversation. Because honestly, I think I would have let Kelvin slip away if I hadn't made a crazy commitment of marriage to a man I barely knew.

I had doubts. We both did. But we both drew near to God and He kept urging us to have faith in the way He directs our steps.

That was 3 years ago this week. March 31st was the day we met. April 7th was the day he took me for an innocent scoop of ice cream. April 10th was the day we decided we would get married.

I remember being so uncertain.

But am I ever glad I had an ounce of faith in me. Cause just look at us now.

Rehma Ladies!

In November last year, I started getting a pea size heart to start a ladies group in Kongowea. We work with boys and although I love them dearly, I have a bigger heart for ladies. God knows my heart for girls and yet, for some reason, he plopped a big team of young men in front of me and said, "Here, I need you to do this for me right now." So I did. And I am so happy I obeyed. 

Like I was saying, in november I was getting visions of starting a ladies group in Kongowea. I was trying to imagine what it would look like. At the time, we didn't have the space or the funding to do it. I also didn't have the connections with ladies that I thought I needed to start. But I started to pray and ask God to direct me as He wishes. 

Now, February 25th, we are having our first girls meeting! We have the space, the funds, and the ladies (well, I think we do). 

To be honest, I am nervous. Extremely nervous. Below is a picture of the tiny (rather pathetic) flyer I made and printed off for Kelvin to hand out to ladies he knows. The past week he has been connecting with people he knows to spread the news. I actually don't know how many ladies will show up, if any at all. I was also suppose to have 3 of my friends come and help me run this meeting. I wanted to start last weekend but none of them were available. I set my heart of this week only to find out that still none of them are available. I knew I couldn't postpone it anymore. I have to step out in faith and do it myself. I am flying solo today. I can't even call on Kelvin since it is a ladies group, no men allowed. 

This is a big leap of faith on my part. I really don't like looking like a fool. In fact, humility is one thing I really struggle with. My fear is that this will be a big flop but I am choosing to replace my fear with faith.  I have read of stories of friends who have stepped out in faith with a small idea and vision from God. Whether they started out with a a small mat and a kid's story book or by issuing a little flyer like mine, they started somewhere. And it turned out beautiful. 

I still don't know what I will really do with the girls every week nor do I really know what I want to accomplish with them. I have so many desires for these young women. I want them to know how loved they are, I want them to know their true worth, I want them to have an attitude of "I can!", I want them to think outside the box and experience life outside of Kongowea, I want them to love themselves and the people around them, I want them to know Jesus, I want them to be  empowered, I want them to go for their dreams, I want them to find loving husbands and be wonderful wives, I want them to work hard and be accountable to one another. And the list goes on. I want a lot of things for them. And I don't really know how it will all happen. 

But I do know that I have a God who has a big plan for them. And I trust Him.