The Cost

On friday morning, I got an email from my mom asking me to pray for my Deda (grandfather in Russian) as he had an aneurism that was leaking blood into his belly. He was being rushed to a hospital 4 hours away. The doctors didn't think that he was going to make it to the hospital. Usually, they evacuate these types of patients by airplane but it just happened to start snowing that night and, when it snows in the little valley we live in, its very dangerous to land or take off. So they had to drive him. He had 5 people attending to him in the back of the ambulance for the 4 hour drive. Thank the Lord he made it and had a successful surgery.

However, he is still not out of the woods. He is currently on life support and kidney dialysis. His organs are pretty damaged from the trauma they experienced. He is in critical condition. So it's a bit of a waiting game. Many doctors have hope. Some think he will get worse before he gets any better. BUt there is always the possibility his body may not be able to recover. We are just waiting. 

It's not easy being so far away when things like this happen. The toughest part when leaving is trusting that God will take care of your loved ones while you are away and that you will see them again when you return. You have to surrender them completely to God. And you never really know what will happen. But that's the cost of following Christ. 

Jesus says, 'take up your cross and follow me.' He asks us to give up everything and follow Him where He leads you. He says drop your pride, your security, your good job or promising future, your money, your rights, and even the people you love the most, and follow Him. It differs for everyone. Not everyone has to drop their money-making job or their health insurance. Sometimes that's where He wants you. But He doesn't want you to get to comfortable there. Because He may just ask you to give that up too. He needs willing hearts; hearts that are willing to follow Him wherever, whenever, and do whatever He asks of you. 

God has lead me to Kenya. I have full peace that I am right where he wants me to be. It's not always easy to be here but I really love it. God has asked me to give up my comfy life and shine His light to the people here in Kenya. It's not for everyone. I believe God has given me a special grace to do it. But it comes with a cost. Yes, I had to give up my rights to a bed without bed bugs, a flush toilet, awesome food, personal safety, and many other things. But I also came knowing that anything could happen to my family. I knew coming that I may not come home and see all my family members. 

I now know that I may or may not get to see my Deda again. It's not an easy thing to come to terms with but thats what He asked of me. And I do it. Because I love Him more than anything else in this world. He gave Himself for me that I may know Him. 

"He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does to take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of me." Matthew 10:37-38

Please pray for my Deda. It's not easy. This weekend has been heavy on me. My family is all with him now in the hospital. As far as I know, he is doing fine. Please pray that, when I get home on Nov. 14th, he will still be there to welcome me home.