Friday, November 6, 2009

Broken Plans

I was hoping that by now I would have all the details of my upcoming return to Kenya all in order. Obviously that was MY plan, not HIS plan. In my head, I had imagined that right now I would be spending my time raising support, slowly starting to pack, getting vaccines, planning go-away parties, etc. I would be more relaxed and laid-back compared to the other 3 times where all the plans came together very last minute. I had hoped to have starting blogging and writing more. I had hoped to have all things booked and visa applications in process. I had hoped that when people asked me about my plans, there would be something to share.

Nope. It is less than two months away from my anticipated departure date and I have no plans. OK, that's not true. I have broken plans. Plans that seem to be in a million little pieces. The part that I hate the most is that I can't do anything about it! I have done what I can here on my end and am now waiting. Waiting for responses from people across the world, waiting to start raising support, waiting to see if I can afford a new computer, waiting to book plane tickets, waiting to get an international driver's license, waiting, waiting, waiting.

But my faith is remaining strong. My heart is working on being flexible to God's great plans. My anxious mind is trying to keep focused on the tasks of the day. And my patience is having it's perfect work in me.

He knows that plans He has for me. He already knows them. He knows all the logistics and details. He knows the timing and the cost. He knows the flight numbers. He knows it all. Sometimes I just wish He would reveal them to me now. But I trust Him. I know this time is for me. For me to learn something and to grow in Him. So for that I am thankful.

1 comment:

  1. you said it all. don't worry, i understand doing everything with in my power and still feeling like it's not in my hands.
    but, like you said, we must remember that those plans and dreams (whether we see them as broken or fulfilled) are in the BEST hands possible...His hands.