Transitioning...

Transitions used to be a way of life for me. I moved from one city to another, one job to another, one continent to another, one church to another, one set of friends to another, with very little fret. I actually remember in college saying to ladies in a bible study, "Transitioning is not always fun but I get so excited seeing how God pushes me through it." Hmm, I just don't have that same zeal this time. This transition is filled with a little more anxiety, uncertainty, frustration, and fear. 

Today I had a little cry. Not unlike me at all. I am just tired and frustrated and anxious to leave yet a little bit scared of what is waiting for us on the other side. 

We were asked today if we were excited to get to Canada. Our answer was, "We are really just excited to leave Kenya." There has just been a lot going on in our lives and all around us that has been tough and overwhelming and, to be honest, we just want to escape. Then there is the added stress of everyday living in Kenya like the fact that our water is not pumping and our house is ridiculously dirty and my phone just decided to die on me for no reason. Plus, the political climate in Mombasa is getting more and more intense as the days go by and I am not as comfortable moving about like I used to do because you just never know when something might happen especially when large crowds of zealous Kenyans (plus money, power, and pride) are involved. 

We are moving out of our apartment in two days and moving in with friends for the rest of the week. I am really excited to just get rid of all our stuff and live out of our suitcases for a while. It's hard organizing and getting rid of an entire household. My feelings have wavered from being totally embarrassed that, at our age, we have so little possessions to being really content (and almost proud of ourselves) that we haven't collected so much stuff that we will be desperate to get rid of in 30 years. I am thankful that we have a 'treasures stored up in heaven' mindset at such an early age. But then again I'm a little self-concious to say that all my clothes fill half a suit case. 

And then my stomach is not enjoying this transition. About 5 years ago, when I moved to Kenya the first time, I developed some bad tummy issues. After seeing the doctor and doing some tests, she asked me, 'Is there any big event happening in your life right now?' I bashfully told her that I was moving to Africa and then it all clicked. It was all anxiety related to the big transition. I am finding my stomach has also detected that a big event is happening in my life right now and has decided to fire back. 

I wish I could tell you had some big spiritual revelation of some sort about this transition but I don't. I know the facts: God loves me, God is with me, this is God's will for us right now, and we will be ok. 

What my mother-in-law brings when she visits

Kelvin's Mom and twin sisters arrived this morning at our house. This is a BIG thing. Culture says that we are not suppose to stay under the same roof with her because we are married. Due to circumstances,     we have had to sleep under the same roof with her a few times so far. In April we visited her upcountry and, to my surprise, we were not allowed to sleep in the same bed under the same roof. So I slept on the floor with his two sisters and he slept on the couch beside me. We are suppose to build our own little mud hut somewhere else on the property that we stay in when we visit. We don't have the money (or the will) to do that right now. 

We invited his mom to come to Mombasa for Christmas and stay with us. He had to ask her if she was allowed to stay with us. She agreed and now she is sitting next to me on the couch. 

Let me just say right now how THANKFUL I am for our new apartment that has so much space that I don't feel totally overcrowded and overwhelmed. I like my space. 

Kelvin's mom came from the village with a variety of things that my mother would never bring. Here are just a few: 

- a large chicken to eat for Christmas. The chicken is alive. It's tied up on our porch. 

- 2 smaller chickens to give to Kelvin's brother who wants to start breeding chickens. They are in a box on the porch. 

- fake hair she bought so that her daughter could braid her hair.

- a whole sack of vegetables from her garden including sweet potatoes, maize, and beans - lots of beans. 

- CD's and DVD's of church choirs and gospel artists from her area. She doesn't have electricity let alone a TV so she never gets to watch them. 

- a VERY small suitcase of clothes (Mom, it is possible to pack light...)

None of this surprised me. I would actually have been a bit sad if she didn't bring a chicken for Christmas. 

I find Kenyans make pretty easy guests. They are really independent and don't need a lot of entertaining. Kelvin's sisters are busy making supper right now (can I get an amen?) while his mom is super content sitting on the couch watching her videos. We can leave them at home all day and they will be fine on their own. Because of the language barrier, we don't have the most vibrant of conversations but that will come in time. 

All in all, I am grateful for the large pile of sweet potatoes on my floor and having our house full of sweet family. 

Mini Update

Sorry for the silence this past week and a half. I guess there is just not too much excitement going on around here to blog about.

My days have been filled with lots of cleaning and organizing of our new apartment. We are getting our first visitors come this week and next. I am trying to keep up with all the dust that flies in. The down side of the beautiful breezes that flow through the house is that they bring in lots and lots of dust. However, I will chose dust over a hot and stuffy house any day especially considering how hot Mombasa is getting now. I take two cold showers a day just to cool down my overheated body and rid my skin of all the sweat.

Kelvin is currently directing a week long youth camp for our church. I opted to stay home for a few days and get some work done. I will head out there on Wednesday morning for the last 3 days of the camp. I am looking forward to connecting with the youth as we have just joined this church and are still making friends.

I had my last ladies meeting for the year on Saturday. We started planning and brainstorming for next year. I want to change the structure of our meetings and try some new things. They also have some ideas that they would like to do next year like volunteer in the community and start a small income generating project so that they can earn a little bit of pocket money. I am really looking forward to spending another year with these lovely ladies.

Well, it's time for me to mop my floors and wash some clothes. See you next week!

We are in!

We are in our new apartment! And I couldn't be more in love with our house.

The moving process wasn't easy for me. I like to do things my way and be more in control but I let Kelvin and the boys take over and get all our stuff in our place. I didn't sleep the night before because I was just so anxious to move. So by 10am, I was pooped. We had all our stuff in our new place around 11 and I got to relax for a bit before I had to meet with my girls in the afternoon.

We still aren't completely settled. It's taking a bit of work to adjust to a new house and neighbourhood. It's much quieter here but we get very loud mosque calls at 5am that go alongside the rooster that starts crowing. Our bedroom is the hottest room in the house. It doesn't get the breezes that the rest of our house gets but we are used to sleeping in the heat. We also live in the back of an estate which has it's perks (like its away from the road so we don't get the noise from the traffic) but it also has its downfalls (like its away from the road which is where all the shops are). Kelvin went out to get bread this morning. 25 minutes later he came back explaining that he had to walk quite far just to find brown bread. I decided that I need to go to the supermarket and buy brown bread for a while and 'long life' milk (milk with preservatives). It may cost us a little more but it will make things a little bit easier for us.

Right now, I am watching a fuzzy Oprah since we are having troubles finding the perfect spot for our arial (which is ok since her topic today is about menopause-something that doesn't concern me yet) But as I am watching TV, I can feel the breezes and see the palm leaves right outside my window rustle around in the wind. So lovely...

"This would never happen back home..."

I can't count how many times I have said that these last two days.

We almost lost the new apartment last night after we had already installed a water pump and put netting on the windows. They wanted to increase the rent. We simply can't afford it if it goes up. Kelvin fought with the agent who wanted more money even though the owners themselves said it was ok for us to pay what we are paying. At one point, I thought we would be homeless come Saturday. I sat and petitioned my God and He pulled through. We get it at the original price for a whole year. This lack of communication and shady/greedy agent would just not fly in Canada.

Our water has been out for two days. And it seems our managers don't even care to refill it after they told us they will countless times. Meanwhile we are in the process of packing and cleaning and washing our apartment. Without water, it just makes it a whole lot harder.

We had our manager try to kick us out this afternoon because the next tenant was ready to move in. He told us that this morning. We said no. We are leaving early in the morning tomorrow. He also tried to con us out of our deposit and over charge us for painting the house. My husband is clever and didn't let that fly. We will get our full deposit back and found a cheaper way to paint the house.

Top news last night was how are we going to register the nomads to vote in the upcoming election? I had to giggle. They can't register certain nomadic groups because they won't be in the same area in the next couple months. A challenge Canada doesn't deal with so often.

Top news this morning was that a man killed his wife and ate her. Yap, that happened. Although, I do remember a guy in Canada who chopped up his boyfriend and sent his body parts to various places. So maybe this could also happen in Canada?

I went to coffee with a friend for some much needed girly chat. We sat there for almost an hour, after our dishes had cleared, waiting for our bill. We ended up asking our waiter for it. I don't think restaurants in Canada like customers just lingering in there for a long time after they finished eating.

I guess I need to stop comparing Kenya to Canada. I do that when I am frustrated with how things are going here. I am just praying our move goes smoothly tomorrow and I can feel settled in my new place. 

Four Years

November 8, 2008. 

That is the day I first stepped into Mombasa four years ago. It was also the beginning of possibly the hardest 6 months of my life. 

We were placed in a mansion that was meant for a large Indian family. There were 8 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms, a humongous living room, and hallways that you could do endless cartwheels in. And we were only two girls. The house had some pretty major quirks: no water, no airflow, lots of dirt and gecko poop, a tiny kitchen, a noisy neighbourhood, and a few guards with their own personal issues. It was not an easy place to manage. 

I started off pretty excited about what was planned for us but my zeal quickly faded. It just wasn't what I felt called to do but I did it because we were told it was necessary, a spot needed to be filled and we got lots of praise for our courage to be there. Meanwhile, I was fading. We lived in a difficult neighbourhood and got constantly heckled by the men even though we tried as hard as we could to cover our bodies and act respectfully. It didn't matter; our skin colour was enough to make them go crazy. We had little preparation and support for what our work really entailed. No one guided us. We pretty much had to figure it out on our own. It was a huge learning experience and a massive point of growth in my life. But it wasn't easy. 

I eventually fell into depression and needed to get out. I went for counselling, my dad came over to visit, and they moved me to Word of Life. 

That's when things changed. I met Kelvin. I felt alive again in a position I felt I was good at. I was cool, literally, from the sea breezes that flowed through the Word of Life compound. It was a life changing few weeks to say the least. 

I swore I would never come back to Mombasa. Never ever ever! 

But alas, four years later, this city has captured my heart and offered me a wonderful life, an awesome community, and a pretty rad husband. 

I dug up some old pics of my first stint in Mombasa in 2008. 

We hosted a huge Christmas party at our house. To this day it is one of my favourite Christmas'. We had such a blend of cultures and religions there. We ate, played games, and hung out. We talked about the meaning of Christmas and love was shared. Such a memorable moment!

Our house came equipped with this inflatable boat that we had too much fun in. I remember rocking it back and forth singing "Rock the boat, don't tip the boat over..."

I worked in a youth library and we did a lot of youth events. We had a retreat for valentines day and we did some skits. I think this guy was proposing to me during our skit. 

This was new years. Yes, we laid in the driveway in the middle of the night. It was hot.

I spent most of my time trying to make friends. Some of these girls I still see today.

My organization partnered me with another girl named Sheena. I am really not sure how I would have survived without her. She was originally from Hong kong but lived in Canada. Naturally, she attracted every person in Mombasa who was also from Hong Kong so I listened to a lot of Cantonese and ate a lot of chinese food during my 9 months in Kenya. 

We used tuk-tuks a lot. It was easier and cooler. I hated walking around town. 

We purposed to enjoy ourselves since we lived in such a beautiful place. Here we had gone to Malindi, just north of Mombasa, for a day of snorkelling. Sheena was such a water baby. I didn't like the salt water and I didn't find the ocean refreshing as usually it was so warm from the heat.

My bedroom. 

The view from the outside of our mansion. I didn't say it was a pretty mansion. 

In the community we lived in, most the streets were like this. It was cramped and crowded but some of the structures were really beautiful. Some were pretty ugly. It is the old city of Mombasa and it is rich with history.

So Happy Four Year Anniversary to me!

Mombasa, I am glad you showed me that you can be an enjoyable city to live in. Thanks for loving me and caring for me over the past four years!

A Reminder

God tends to remind me that life is not all that bad just when I think things are falling apart.

I mentioned that our last two weeks have just been one thing after another. And it has yet to stop. For example, after finishing the injections in my buttocks, I woke up with a terrible head cold that quickly turned to fever/cough. Thankfully, I woke up feeling a thousand times better this morning and actually had some energy to get out of the house. But I also discovered that my hot water kettle (that I only bought 6 months ago) plus the large fluorescent light bulb in my kitchen have both decided to fritz out on me. And those aren't cheap to replace. Then we discovered yesterday that one of our boys, who we had helped with some medical issues, actually took the money we gave him for medication and used it to pay rent. He has been avoiding us for months and finally came to fess up to Kelvin yesterday. Unfortunately, he came in desperation for more money since he was now being kicked out of his house and still hadn't taken the medication. Kelvin denied as he didn't have any money and now we are confused on how to really help this guy.

You see, its not really huge, life altering things, it just seems to be one disappointment after another.

However, God gave me a reminder of His goodness today at church. Our youth pastor preached an awesome sermon. At one point, he was explaining a passage in the bible (don't remember which one - bad christian!) but then he paused and said,

"Don't get disappointed so easily. God is still working."

As simple as that, just don't get disappointed so easily. Keep moving on. Things will change. God is working. He is indeed there and does actually have good plans for me. Stop hanging your head, rolling your eyes, or getting downright upset over these small, insignificant things that happen.

Then our service leader thought it would be good to call up all the orphans in the congregation and pray for them. This was actually a very bad and embarrassing idea. The ones who stood up (there were many orphans who didn't out of embarrassment) were asked to come to the front to be prayed for. Again, it struck me in the gut that life is actually not so bad. Some are worse off than me. Some suffer constant disappointments and suffering.

 I tried so hard to fight back the ugly cry.

I am seriously SO SO blessed. Even when everything just keeps falling apart, I am STILL blessed. May I learn to focus on all the blessings and push through all the disappointments. 

Ants in my buns

I feel like I have SO much to tell you - you, out there, reading this, whoever you are. This last week and a half has been a flurry of random, overwhelming highs and lows on so many levels. That is how jumbled my mind is about all of it. Let me just tell you a few of the events of the past 10 or so days:

• Two of our phones broke, including the brand new one that Kelvin bought. I had to pull out our old iPhone that doesn't work unless its plugged in. It may sound nice to have an iPhone but its not. This is one screams difficulty. But its what we have until our two other phones get fixed. 
• I discovered one of my girls' sister tried to sell her off to an old man because she needed money. No wonder my girl ran away from home.
• Kelvin and I both have been having tummy issues. We have been taking medicine (including daily injections into our buttocks). The side effects of the medicine are worse than the discomfort we were feeling. We had our last injection today so hopefully tomorrow we will stop limping. Those things are painful! 
• My cat wouldn't let the vet take her stitches out today. The vet said that it is not normal behaviour for a cat to be THAT violent towards other people. He says we spend so much time with her that we are the only ones she trusts. In other words, I baby my cat. 
• Kelvin has challenged our boys to come up with an income generating project for the team. We sat with them today and listened to their brilliant idea to supply cheap satellite TV to people in Kongowea. They have really thought it out and done their homework. We were thoroughly impressed. We admitted that we couldn't have done that good of a job. They are brilliant - they just need the opportunity to use their brilliance. This project will hopefully provide for all the team's needs and more. That would mean that they could be self sustaining and not rely on donations. How awesome would that be? 
• Tomorrow, the photographer who shot our wedding is coming to do a session with a handful of our youth on the basics of photography. I personally can't wait to learn from such an awesome photographer. I hope my youth will show up on time.
• Police have increased in Mombasa these last few days. There is a group in Mombasa who believes that the coast should be a separate state from Kenya and they are causing raucous. They are threatening to disrupt students exams which are going on. So far, all is well just a whole lot more police  carrying around overbearing AK47s. 
• We got news yesterday that Kelvin's twin sisters returned home yesterday from boarding school. Apparently the grade 11 students burnt down the dormitories in protest of something. If the school doesn't find who did it, all the students have to pay 10,000KES ($120) to get back to school. Twins= 20,000KES. We are thankful that they weren't hurt. Unfortunately, in another school, some kids didn't make it out when their dormitories were burnt on monday morning. So sad.
• I have been baffled by the amount of lying that is ingrained in this culture and the people here. It seriously blows my mind how many people blatantly lie about everything and they think nothing of it. I will write a whole post on this soon. 
• Kelvin has been doing the dishes a lot lately. It's been nice. 
• Last night I made some yummy buns to go with our vegetable stew. I wrapped the leftovers in tin foil last night only to wake up and find that an army of ants somehow made their way under the tin foil and into my buns. That was the breaking point. Tears started flowing after that. Yes, I cried because ants took over my buns. 
• I then went and laid in bed to just relax. Meanwhile, Kelvin came and snuggled me. It was just what I needed. I adore him. 

And this is only the beginning of all our shenanigans but I will use some discretion and keep the rest to myself. I can't tell you enough how amazing my husband is. We have walked through all this stuff together and have come out stronger. I am in awe that God has grant me the amazing gift of my husband. 

A Sweet Blessing

While we were on the matatu to church, Kelvin got a call from a friend of his. This friend was really anxious to see Kelvin. He wanted to meet him asap. Kelvin asked why. The guy said, "I want to give you 200bob (about $2.50)." Kelvin giggled. Our friend just wanted to give us something. He must have gotten some work somewhere and wanted to bless us with the cash he made.

We have taken in this friend numerous times. He had some particular issues with his mental health as well as with his family. During that time, he told us that our house was the only place he really felt at peace so he would show up at night and just want somewhere peaceful to rest his head. We have also hired him to help us out with moving, carpentry jobs, security, etc. 

Anyways, we explained to him we were on our way to church so he can send it to us through MPESA (a bank system on our phones). He hung up and then we didn't hear from him again. 

On our way home from church, Kelvin received a text from MPESA telling him he received 500bob ($6.50) from our friend. Ha! I am not sure why but he decided to send us over double what he wanted to. I was seriously humbled. We ended up treating ourselves to some drinks and snacks as we watched the Arsenal game that afternoon. 

Maybe I have like some sort of "white pride" issue in my head that thinks that people always want money out of me or that I am always the one who has to give. I think thats the way the majority of people think when they see white people. But when skin colour fades away, we are left with friendship and friends give and bless one another. 

I am constantly amazed at the ways Kenyans give. I truly believe they give way more than we do. In terms of monetary value, we probably give more but in terms of sacrifice, they are way ahead of us. 

One family, who is particularly close to me, has never had a vacation! The parents are well into their fifties now and yet have never taken a chance to get out, relax, enjoy the fruits of their labour. If they ever have any extra money (which is rare) they take another kid into their family puts them in school.

My husband has been a really good example of sacrificial giving. He has really challenged me to give even when its uncomfortable. Even this month, he promised a few people he would give to them (which we were really excited to do since we are excited for them and where God is taking them). He let me know and then we had to figure out how to budget the rest of the month. It means that maybe we only eat meat once or twice a week, cut down on our internet use, and do a little less 'leisure'. And can I just tell you that we have NEVER lacked? In fact, God has blessed us in the most amazing of ways. Our God is awesome. 

What about you? Do you give out of your excess? Do you ever give even if it means you live a little less comfortable? Are you ever really excited to give to someone or something? 

Catching Up

I think the past 3 weeks of craziness has finally caught up with me. I woke up this morning with a terrible head cold that has forced me to lay on my couch and drink lemongrass tea all day. 

It's also giving me the chance to just catch up on emails, accounts, updates, paper work, etc. 

I travelled to Nairobi on Sunday night to renew my passport. I am so used to travelling with Kelvin that going alone has become a lot more nerve-wracking. Before I met Kelvin, I used to travel all the time by myself and it was no big whoop. But now I get anxious with out him. I also think I am more aware of the dangers of road travel in Kenya. Even as we were going to the bus station on Sunday night we saw a nasty accident between a motorcycle and a semi truck. I am pretty sure the dude on the motorcycle didn't make it. So sad. 

I did make it to Nairobi safely. I went the Canadian Embassy and applied for my passport to be renewed. Every time I step on that compound, I feel like I have been transported back home. Everyone is so kind, there is native art on the walls, our flag is plastered all over the place. They even built it in true Canadian fashion. I noticed that the toilet paper and soap dispensers in the bathrooms are ones from Canada! If only they would open a Tim Hortons there. 

I decided to spend the night at Word of Life where I went to bible school. It was so refreshing seeing old friends and spending time in the peaceful, quiet, cool village setting. I left on a 1pm bus yesterday (which didn't actually leave till 3pm) and arrived home at 10pm. Kelvin met his snotty-nose and overly tired wife at the bus stop, escorted her home, and prepared supper for her. Yes, I love him. 

Anyways, looking forward to getting a bit of rest today, catching up on some 'work', and snuggling with my kitty. 

Here are a few photos from the boys' game on Saturday. They have finally started up their leagues again after Ramadhan and the riots. 

Remember Kadenge? We were kind of disappointed in him since he returned back to Mombasa. He has sort of been avoiding us and the team. Usually the boys avoid us when they are doing something they know will disappoint us. We figured he had fallen back into his old habits of drugs and shady company. But to our delight, we found out that he was actually working hard to start his own chicken business! He discovered his family had a plot near by so he has been working hard on preparing it to start up his business. He has even been getting some of the boys involved to train them and help them out financially! Amazing! He came to us and asked if we could help him build a small structure for a caretaker on the property. We offered to help only if he promises to donate monthly to the team once his business starts! Amazing what God has done in Kadenge's life. 

 Some of the boys who didn't make the first team for the game. They still came out to watch. They also cleaned up pretty well if I do say so myself.

 Andrea and Kelvin. We have worked hard with this boy. We are praying for him and the decisions he makes in his life. He is a really good kid and is very devoted to the team. 

Noah has also just passed his Clearing and Forwarding course that we sponsored him to go to. He did really really well! We are praying that he can find an internship soon so he can graduate. 

See number 11? Yah, thats my husband. I could go on and on about how amazing he is. But I will do that another day. 

5am cow slaughtering

I set my alarm for 4:50 this morning so that Kelvin could get up and go slaughter a cow. He rolled over and said, "you are the best thing that has ever happened to me". I was so drowsy that it took a while for what he just said to sink in.

He was picked up at 5am by the groom so they could go slaughter his uncle's cow for the wedding tomorrow. They had to get one guy to actually kill the cow at the farm, skin it, and cut it up into large chunks, taking out specific organs (including the liver, stomach, intestines which are still good to eat). Then they had to take all these large pieces to a qualified butcher to cut it up into smaller pieces that are suitable for biryani. We learned that this has to be done a very specific way for biryani. After that, they needed to take the meat to the caterers who need to start preparing the feast tonight.

In between all these things, Kelvin has done a million other errands for the wedding including buying water, picking up his clothes, doing a dress rehearsal, buying items for the gift table, and so on. Its now 6pm and I haven't seen him. Its been a bit of a lonely day to be honest. Its pretty hard being in the house by myself for 12+ hours. However, I know how important it is to be there for good friends. It was one of my resolutions for this year.

In the meantime, I baked some yummy oatmeal muffins for the Kelvinator when he gets home. I still had lots to do concerning the wedding, mostly to do with money since I am handling all the finances. I spent some time catching up on emails. I slept in till almost 9am (unheard of for me). I watched a cheesy movie on tv. I called my dad before he went to work. I cleaned our shoes. I wrapped the card box for the gift table. It hasn't been such a bad day.

I hope Kelvin will be home fairly soon. Then I have to say goodbye to him again. They have the kuhaswa tonight so he is escorting the groom with some other men to the bride's home for the ceremony. He might make it home by 2am. (Actually, I want to see if it is appropriate for me to go. I would love to witness such a cultural event!)

I still need to figure out what to where to the wedding tomorrow and glue one of the soles of my shoe back together. I also have the two batman movies that I want to watch.

It's days like today that I am thankful for my cat who provides another life in the house.  I am thankful for internet, power, television, books, an oven, running water, cheap calling rates, and a cozy home. Not everyone around me has these basic things. I am grateful for a husband who takes a few moments of his busy day to tell me how much he adores me.

Ok, am off to start ironing my outfit for tomorrow.

Lynched

Yesterday, as we were coming home, I witnessed my first lynched body. Yep, a human body.

Our matatu started to slow down and traffic was backing up a little. I noticed mobs of people on both sides of the road. Now, I hate crowds in Kenya. They freak me right out. If there is a large crowd following or looking at something in particular, my red flag shoots right up and I get out of there fast. Kenyans have a very strong 'mob mentality'. I don't know why. Maybe they are curious or bored or need something to get them fired up. But they usually run towards a crowd rather than away. And if something is happening in that crowd, like let's saying, lynching a body, then they will just join into the crowd without thinking about it.

So like I was saying, there were crowds on both sides of the road. I immediately clutch my bag (which now I giggle at thinking that that is my first reaction to danger) and looked at Kelvin. He said to me that it's probably something political since there were some big political rallies in Mombasa happening. As we slowly drove through the crowd, I noticed all eyes were looking at a particular thing on the ground. As we got closer, someone in our matatu said, "RIP" and I knew it was bad. Just as we drove past, I got a glimpse of the body.

I immediately turned away and said, 'Oh my God!' Yah, I don't usually use the Lord's name in vain but this shook me.

All of a sudden, I felt raw. It was such a raw reality. A living, breathing human body is now laying on the side of the road, charred will lumps of coal piled on top.

Now I have seen many dead bodies before. I have seen bodies that have been mixed and mangled from car crashes and other accidents. I have witnessed last breaths. I have escorted moms to the morgue to see their babies. I have been to open-casket funerals. So dead bodies don't bother me. For this, it was the whole situation that bothered me. Watching a human being burn on the ground in the name of 'mob justice'.

We assume the guy did something like stole or slept with someone's wife. Something of that matter. And the locals took it upon themselves to deal with the man.

Really!? REALLY!? Must you go so far...

Of course it made me ponder life and how precious it is. It made me wonder how people can be so cruel to burn a man alive. It made me sick thinking about how all those people gathered just to watch some body burn. They didn't seem to mind. Their faces were blank. I think if I was to stand there I would start balling. I wouldn't want to get a whiff of burning flesh.

My thoughts are still mixed. That image has flashed through my mind for the last 24 hours. I feel anger, hurt, pain, injustice, heartache, fury, confusion, and so many other things. That's just it.

Lynched

Yesterday, as we were coming home, I witnessed my first lynched body. Yep, a human body.

Our matatu started to slow down and traffic was backing up a little. I noticed mobs of people on both sides of the road. Now, I hate crowds in Kenya. They freak me right out. If there is a large crowd following or looking at something in particular, my red flag shoots right up and I get out of there fast. Kenyans have a very strong 'mob mentality'. I don't know why. Maybe they are curious or bored or need something to get them fired up. But they usually run towards a crowd rather than away. And if something is happening in that crowd, like let's saying, lynching a body, then they will just join into the crowd without thinking about it.

So like I was saying, there were crowds on both sides of the road. I immediately clutch my bag (which now I giggle at thinking that that is my first reaction to danger) and looked at Kelvin. He said to me that it's probably something political since there were some big political rallies in Mombasa happening. As we slowly drove through the crowd, I noticed all eyes were looking at a particular thing on the ground. As we got closer, someone in our matatu said, "RIP" and I knew it was bad. Just as we drove past, I got a glimpse of the body.

I immediately turned away and said, 'Oh my God!' Yah, I don't usually use the Lord's name in vain but this shook me.

All of a sudden, I felt raw. It was such a raw reality. A living, breathing human body is now laying on the side of the road, charred will lumps of coal piled on top.

Now I have seen many dead bodies before. I have seen bodies that have been mixed and mangled from car crashes and other accidents. I have witnessed last breaths. I have escorted moms to the morgue to see their babies. I have been to open-casket funerals. So dead bodies don't bother me. For this, it was the whole situation that bothered me. Watching a human being burn on the ground in the name of 'mob justice'.

We assume the guy did something like stole or slept with someone's wife. Something of that matter. And the locals took it upon themselves to deal with the man.

Really!? REALLY!? Must you go so far...

Of course it made me ponder life and how precious it is. It made me wonder how people can be so cruel to burn a man alive. It made me sick thinking about how all those people gathered just to watch some body burn. They didn't seem to mind. Their faces were blank. I think if I was to stand there I would start balling. I wouldn't want to get a whiff of burning flesh.

My thoughts are still mixed. That image has flashed through my mind for the last 24 hours. I feel anger, hurt, pain, injustice, heartache, fury, confusion, and so many other things. That's just it.

A small glimpse into my week

It's Monday, the start of a new week. So far this morning I have spent a few hours trying to mop up all the dust and dirt and other yuckies around my house. We have a tiny house that seems to get so dirty so quickly. I guess it doesn't help much that there is a huge building project in our backyard that is creating hoards of dust. Sometimes I can see the streams of dust floating through the window. On the bright sigh, it is a delightful overcast day. Mombasa is finally cooling down. 

Anyways, here are a few shots of my week. I have been terrible at communicating and taking pictures in the past few weeks. I promise to try harder. 

The moon

I sat in awe as I watched the moon rise high above the boys as they practiced one night. The boys are back on track with practicing. They won their first game of the league on Saturday. I wasn't there but I heard they were elated and celebrated with vuvuzela's and lots of chanting/singing. 

Groove

Last sunday, the biggest concert in the nation came and did its final show in Mombasa. The Groove tour sets up stages all across the country and profiles the hottest gospel music artists in the country. In Kenya, more often than not, the top songs on the charts are all gospel tunes. It's pretty rad although I feel sometimes we've lost the art of 'worship music'. But at least the lyrics are somewhat clean and holy...

Security was tight with threats of terrorists and such. We went through 4 different security guards just to get through the gates. Once inside, police and security were everywhere, including some 'hidden' police mingling amongst the crowds. With thousands of people inside, they did a pretty good job on the security front. No bombs. That's always a good thing. 

Kelvin and I got cozy in the back sitting on the bleachers in the shade. We totally enjoyed ourselves. I loved seeing some of our boys and some of the ladies. The concert was FREE and close to Kongowea. My heart was happy seeing them enjoying themselves. 

Cooking adventures


My new resolution is to cook nicer food at home and eat out less. Eating out adds up and I can make yummier, cheaper food at home. So this week saw me make pizza, baked chicken, toasted cheese, pumpkin cookies, coconut meat stew and pasta alongside the usual rice, beans, ugali, and sukuma.

I had been wanting to learn to cook the local pilau for a while now. From what I had heard, it was fairly easy and pretty cheap. One of my ladies, Susan, offered to take me home after our meeting on Saturday to teach me how. We giggled the whole way through the process and ended up making some pretty delicious pilau. It passed my husbands standards which is really what I strive for. The real test will be when I try cook it myself at home.

Missin' my Momma 


Yes, Mother's day really made me long for my momma. These are the days I wish I was closer and could celebrate my mother the way she deserves. Good thing I have a pretty rad brother who managed to treat my mom to a nice dinner and her favourite flowers. I did manage to squeeze in a short Skype date with mom in the morning. Thank the Lord for Skype. I wasn't the only one longing for my mom. Neema was practically trying to scratch her way through the screen to get to her.

Journalling


A dear wife/friend/mentor of mine recently encouraged me to start journalling. I used to journal a lot in Kenya mostly because everything was so new and cool and noteworthy. Now I am used to life so it doesn't seem to be worth writing down. But I bought this cute little notebook (that a friend makes and sells for super cheap) and have been writing almost every day. It's been really relaxing to just sit and write openly and honestly about whatever is on my mind.

A new schedule


When we came back from our trip, we knew that we needed to shift some things around in our life and focus on what's really important. The last few months were hard as we tried to balance starting a business, working with the youth, and focusing on being newly married. So now Kelvin has trained one of our boys to manage the business for a few hours in the day leaving us with the mornings together. It has made such a huge difference! We wake up slowly and eat breakfast together while watching our favourite morning shows. We clean up, spend some time reading God's word and just hang out. Sometimes we watch a movie or just talk. Around noon I start preparing lunch and after that Kelvin heads out. He gets what needs to be done in the office before he goes to practice with the boys. I usually plan something for the afternoon. I have been actually heading to Kongowea more to meet up with my ladies one on one. Then we come back home together in the evenings, cook supper, and relax.

This new schedule has not only helped our relationship but also the youth we work with. We find we have more time and energy to pour into them which is what they really need most. It is also what makes us thrive too!

I am grateful the way God has worked it all out.

As for this week, we are still busy. Tonight I am headed to Kongowea to meet with one of my ladies and take some head shots of the boys for a fundraiser happening in Canada. Then the rest of the week is filled with wedding meetings, visiting, bible studies, office work, and, well, sweet time with those who matter most.

Got Milk?

Nope.


Kenya, or at least Mombasa, seems to be having some sort of milk shortage. You can't find milk anywhere. I was in the supermarket a couple days ago and they were out of fresh milk and selling 'long life' milk aka milk with preservatives. I bought some but it tastes terrible. And if I were to go back now, I am sure it would be gone.

All the little dukas are also not getting their supply of milk so you can't find it around your home.

It's tough because there are a few Kenyan staples and milk is a big one. Every Kenyan drinks tea (half of it is milk the other half water) in the morning. Most of the milk we buy is fresh so it will go bad in a day or two which means you can't stock up on it or buy 4 litre jugs like at home.

I wonder how this happens. Occasionally, Kenya just runs out of food. Last year it was sugar, a few months ago it was sukuma wiki and now milk. First, the prices double (1/2 litre of milk went from 30KES to 55KES in a matter of weeks) then you realize that you can no longer find it in the shelves. I guess it shows you how much of our food is locally grown (which is cool) but also shows you the lack of knowledge or proper planning to make sure these 'shortages' don't happen. Maybe if we focused a little less on political  dynamics and more on the needs of the people, this wouldn't happen.

Otherwise, this morning we are drinking black, lemongrass tea. Pretty yummy.

Tumechoka

Tumechoka. We. are. tired. 

Just after taking this photo, Kelvin says to me, 

"Baby, you need to wipe all the sweat off your head. Your face is shiny." 

People, we are tired. Really tired. 

What do I mean by that? We are tired of just life. Kelvin and I both feel exhausted with everything - work, the boys, the ladies, the HEAT, mombasa, our church, the food, finances, and well, everything. 

This morning, Kelvin woke up with a sore throat and a stuffed nose. The fan is giving him so many troubles at night. The tough part is that the fan is so necessary. I woke up the second the power went out last night and immediately started sweating. In the mornings, I find that I wake up more tired and dehydrated than before I went to bed. Yes, the heat has been horrible. I mean horrible. (Canadians, don't even begin to complain about the snow and rain. At least you have the option of a warm house. We don't have cool air. Ever.)

Yesterday, I had a rough morning before heading to church (I believe it was the devil scheming). I was in tears as I was sweating, trying to muster up any energy, battling a heat headache, not able to find the right clothes to wear, struggling with my bra (yes, my bra), and general weariness. I am so glad I pushed through and went to church. Church was SO refreshing for both Kelvin and I. We really needed it. On the way home though, I was drained. I was so hot, still had my headache, tired, emotional, and tired. I got home and passed out on the couch. We didn't eat lunch till 4. 

We love our work, but we are a little tired of it. We love our house, but we are tired. Mombasa is great, but I am tired of it. I remember other missionaries telling me that after every 3 months, they start to get weary and tired and must get a away even if it is only for a couple days. That is where we are at. 

Every morning, as we are eating breakfast, we do a lent devotional which is preparing our hearts for Easter. As we are walking along with Jesus, as he walks in his final hours, we are amazed at His strength. Particularly, his weakest moment in Gethsemane has really struck us. The moment where He feels He can go on no longer and asks for this cup to be removed from Him. At that moment, He must have mustered up some supernatural strength from His Father above to say, "Yet not my will be done, but yours." He knows what is going to happen. He knows the cup won't be taken away from Him. But He draws strength from The Father to do what He is suppose to. 

Kelvin and I are tired. But in our weak moments, we have decided to draw our strength from God trusting that He will indeed grant us the rest we need and renew our energy. 

End Month

I have been fortunate enough in my 24 years of life to have never lived 'pay check to pay check'. I am a minimalist. Seriously, I don't buy anything I don't need. I have many of the same clothes that I wore in high school. My house is plain as decoration is not important to me. However, the one thing I will spend money on is food. That is something I am trying to get under control.

Most people around here live barely making it through the month. That's why 'end month' is such a popular day. Tomorrow I guarantee that the supermarkets will be packed, restaurants will be buzzing, and traffic will be insane. Everyone is trying to enjoy the money they have just received. I find that a lot of people don't get the concept of saving or making sure your money doesn't run out for the rest of the month. They live large the first couple days and then starve near the end of the month. We actually have a landlord that came to us because he couldn't manage his money properly and wanted us to regulate how much he spends. He is a drunkard and when he gets large amounts of money at one time, he spends it all on alcohol. So we collect all his rent and then give it to him in small portions during the month. Yes, we do more than just manage money - we manage lives apparently.

Today I think is the first time I am ever feeling this 'end month'. Our income will be coming in in the next couple days which will be nice. I thought we would be ok until then but, of course, something has to go wrong.

Two days ago, I discovered that our electric kettle had burnt out. It was making funny noises and I thought it just needed to be cleaned (because our water is salty, it gets some film on it that needs to be cleaned regularly). After I cleaned it, I realized that coil inside had actually burst. It's no good anymore. The worst part is that it does have a warranty on it but we were suppose to register for the warranty when we bought it (which we were unaware of) so we cannot go get it fixed. I have to buy a new one soon. It is probably the most used appliance in my house since I boil all my drinking water.

Then the credit on my internet is about to run out. Gotta top up so I can use the internet again.

And then this morning, as I was boiling drinking water on the stove since the kettle is kaput, our gas tank ran out. I can't do any cooking without the gas. Now I must go unhook the tank, lug it up the road, and exchange it for a new one. Kelvin tells me my caretaker will help me with this. Thank you caretaker!

So my top priority is the stove because we must eat. I think I will do without the kettle for a few days and just limit my time on the internet until we can get our next 'pay check'.

On the bright side, the electricity is here for now. Praying that it will stay the whole day today. That would be nice.

Insights into my everyday life

Some Canadian friends of mine, who live here in Mombasa, recently posted this list on their blog of how their lives have changed since they have moved here. I couldn't help but giggle through this list as so much of it rings true in my life. I think I have been here so long that I have forgotten that many of these things are not normal for Canadians. Now, they are my norm.  


Here is the list * my additions are in italics


I am tanned. In the weirdest of places. Permanent sandal tan...
My hands always smell like bleach. Bleach is one of my best friends here. I use it for almost everything.
I buy my produce from a person. 
I buy my meat at joint I would have never stepped into back home. 
Sweat... I could write an entire essay on sweating in Mombasa. It's nasty. 
My kids pretend to speak Swahili when they role play. I don't have kids but I am sure they will actually speak in swahili. 
The call to prayer is my clock. and my reminder to pray and study my bible
If I want hot water I have to boil it. Love my kettle. Best appliance I have ever purchased.
I can feel cold when it is 27 degrees. Weird, I know! Oh how I long for that temperature right now!
I home school my kids. Not sure if I will do this or not.
Explaining how one schools one's children at home is a daily event. I can only imagine the perplexed looks she gets over this one.
I am an employer. Currently  I don't employ anyone but, at one point, I was employing 5 people at my house.
Most my clothes have been made for me. Most thrift stores wouldn't accept my ratty clothes.
I clench my teeth often when I'm out. Processing about my surroundings. Yes.....all the time
Eat mango and pineapple everyday. Lets not forget the watermelon, bananas, oranges and passionfruits. 
Half of the things I cook are a flop...I used to know how to cook. If I cooked canadian food, they would flop too. I have learned to cook Kenyan food. It's easier and less flopable.  
Nairobi is my Regina. Nairobi is my Vancouver or Kelowna.
I haven't baked cookies in 7 months. I actually bake alot. Today I am making a big banana cake. 
Swallow a malaria pill once a week, and trick my 2 year into it too. I don't take malaria pills but sleeping under a net is a must and we constantly have a can of DOOM handy in the house. 
Haven't been in a Walmart for a long time. I'm good with that. I miss Walmart. A lot. 
I bath instead of shower. If I want hot water, I bath in a bucket. Otherwise, it's a cold shower. 
Water is used with thought. Water is precious. You don't realize it until you don't have clean, unlimited water that flows from your tap. 
The wind is a gift from God. Truly.
I live with ants. Although it has gotten better in the last while. Still I'm always thinking, "Will the ants come if I leave this here?"Amazing how tolerable I have become with bugs. Thumb-sized cockroaches don't freak me like they used to.
Our family can eat out for 8-10 dollars. Nice. I like that one. Kelvin and I eat out at about $2 in Kongowea. Although, I am becoming more cheap. I can make a big meal at home for about 70cents. 
Years of being told to drink my water...and I do now...without making myself. I think I drink too much water for my own good, if that is even possible. 
I haven't driven in 7 months or more. I really miss driving and having that freedom. 
I rarely wear makeup(hard to apply on top of sweat) and my hair is always frizzy. My hair goes bonkers here. I do wear make up but it melts away after an hour or so. 
Can't throw food away like I used to. Not when you have friends who are not even eating...
Often don't know what anyone is saying. Smile and nod. Yes, this is how I get through my days.
Sleeping under a heavy blanket has become my idea of a luxury. Oh to be cold! 
My feet are NEVER cold. When they are (in Nairobi), it's heaven. Lately my feet have been burning hot. Actually, I run them under cold water several times a day especially before I sleep. If I wake up in the middle of the night to use the toilet, I must wet my feet.
I live in a city. Of around 800,000 people. Castlegar can't even compare.
I live in an apartment. I love the security but hate the lack of space and privacy and having my own yard. 
I know some Swahili. Some being, a little. I know quite a bit but still not enough.
My kids drink soda...often. I drink a bottle or two of soda a day. Worse, I call it soda instead of pop. 
Driving on the left side of the road is normal now. Yes, I forget that other people do it differently.
Jon and I are falling asleep every night at 9:00pm or earlier. I am zonked by 9:30 with Kelvin.
I don't have a landline. i.e. I have a cell phone...of my own...that I know how to use. We have 4 cell phones for the different lines and service providers.
I have a gas stove.  I light it with a match.
No drier for the laundry. Which I don't mind. The sun is fine. Just gotta make sure you turn your clothes inside out or the sun will discolour them.
We do have a washing machine but most of the time our clothes are washed by hand. Washing machine=glorious. Although I still have to wash a few things by hand too.
My bath tube is in a different room from the toilet. Handy. Not my case. In my old house, the shower head was directly over the toilet. Not so handy. Right now, my shower has no curtain so gets everything wet. Annoying.
I sleep under a net. And feel like a princess...a princess who won't get malaria. 
I never wear pants. Too hot to.
Monkeys come visit us about once a week. No squirrels. We don't have so may animals around us except the odd herd of goats.
Most of my friends don't have an oven...nor would they want one. They would rather have a large sound system. Weird, I know. 
I carry my two year old on my back with a piece of fabric knotted around my shoulders. Definitely, when I have babies. 


Hope that gives you a glimpse of my lovely Kenyan life.

Settling Down

Today I finally got the sense that my life is settling down.

I never thought I would get here. It was hard to imagine the point where my life would be more consistent, I would build a community around me, I would have a home that I plan to stay in for a while, I wouldn't constantly be looking for the next opportunity or thing to do, I would fall into an everyday life kind of routine. I actually didn't think I could do it. I would look at people with full time jobs that they do day after day, week after week, year after year and think, "I couldn't handle that" but now I get the sense that that is slowly where I am moving.

For those who don't know, Kelvin and I have started a business managing rental homes as well as buying/selling homes. For almost 2 years now, it has been in both our minds to start one. Kelvin grew up managing his family's homes so it was a natural fit for him. We have opened a small office in Kongowea, right beside the pitch. Kelvin is working hard to market himself out there. Today he left the house looking so handsome in his grey dress pants and collared white t-shirt. We are getting lots of interest and slowly people are gravitating towards us. I am doing most of the administration work. I am trying to set up a good system for managing client information, files, cash income and outflow, and general office stuff. I am also designing all the business cards, signage, and website (that will be coming up in the future). It really is a fun venture.

Right beside our office is the youth centre we are opening as well (it is literally the next door beside us). I am trying to maximize the tiny space we have (any tips on types of furniture/set up to make good use of a small space?). We have already handed over the key to one of our boys who manages all the equipment and will soon take over the centre in the evenings when we open it up for people to come and study. I will begin having my girls club in the next couple of weeks!

Today, I went to town to get some signs printed out. I then headed to Kongowea to meet up with my husband, show him the signs, and see what needed to be done in the office. We decided to let one of the boys sit at the desk (something they are proud of) while we went for lunch break. Since when did my husband and I take lunch breaks together??? Never. That is when I realized that we are now settling down.

It feels really good to finally be settled. To feel like we are starting to build our lives. I love that I am able to commit to something long term right now. I love that I can buy furniture knowing that I will use it for a long time. I love that my suitcases are packed away probably collecting dust and cobwebs.

I am sure at some point I will get a bit antsy as most people do. Thankfully I live in a country that I can travel relatively cheap to some awesome places. I do still have some plans. I want to finish going to school. I do want to visit Canada. Babies will come in the near future.

But settling down is what we are doing. And it feels good.

Holy Smoke!

It was the one thing I was dreading living here. 

And its happening. 

You see, our apartment faces behind the compound. It is much better than the other side which is right on the busiest street in our area. Being along the street is safer than living ndani (inside- meaning off the main road). However, it comes with its faults mainly the noise and dirt and little privacy. However, since our apartment is at the back of the compound, it was facing a large grass patch, and we have a relatively peaceful and quiet life. It is still a bit noisy (there is a school a little ways away and there is a pub downstairs) but nothing compared to the front. 

My prayer was that the beautiful patch of grass outside would stay that way for a while. I didn't want anyone to start building on it. 

But it is a beautiful space and the owner would be silly not to maximize it's use and get a good profit from it. 

So the building has begun. 

But before the building started, some of the guys thought it would be best to burn all the grass. BAD BAD idea. The small patch they burned pretty much smoked us into our apartment. I quickly closed all the windows and turned my fans on high. But the smoke just kept seeping through the windows. I was now starting to cough and my eyes were burning so I thought I should step out my front door into the corridor. However, the corridor has no roof and so smoke was entering from the top making it even more smoky than inside my little apartment. My neighbour ran out in her slippers thinking that the building was on fire. I assured her it wasn't but she was so furious that she went down to complain. In the meantime, I waited it out in my bathroom. It was the only place I could hide without my eyes burning from smoke. I sat on the toilet lid and played on my computer. 

I think my neighbour wasn't the only one with angry complaints. The fire was put out very quickly and the men were instructed to get out their machetes and start chopping the rest of the grass. When I looked out, only a very small patch of grass was burnt. I can't imagine how much smoke it would have created if the burnt the whole thing. 

The dry grass lit on fire so fast that you couldn't see the ground.

I couldn't even see out my window!! That's how bad it was! 

 The next morning we awoke to about 50 guys digging the holes for the foundation. That was the sound I dreaded to hear. 

After the first day, they had made some pretty good progress. They were noisy but they managed to get a lot done and not many returned the next day. Although nearing the end of the day, I could hear a bunch of yelling right outside my window. I think the guy who hired them all was refusing the pay them what he had promised. I would be pretty upset as well. 

I am happy that they are only building on that one side which means that I won't have any structure obstructing my view or cross breeze anytime soon (although I do pity the people on the other side of the building). Also, I think the noisiest part is over and they are going to now start lay bricks and allowing cement to dry. 

As I am typing this now, they have lit up some of the leftover grass again. Really?? I can feel the heat through my windows although now the wind is blowing the smoke away from my house. Phew! It's a good thing most houses are made of concrete here instead of wood that catches on fire so quickly!