It has become too real...

HIV/AIDS, that is.

It became too real for me last week.

I remember, during my first trip to Kenya in 2005, wondering where all the AIDS was. I mean, back home in Canada, we had been fed the news that this horrendous disease is killing the masses. Words like 'epidemic', 'catastrophe', and 'threat to humanity' were being used to describe the disease. Celebs were creating clothing lines where profits were going to 'fight' AIDS in Africa. AIDS day became a new holiday. As far as I understood, it was a big deal.

So you can understand my confusion, as a naive 17-year-old girl with a heart to save the whole world, when I came to Kenya and didn't see 'it' anywhere. I guess I didn't really know what 'it' looked like.

I began to realize that people don't walk around with big stamps on their foreheads saying, "I have AIDS!". It's actually not easy to point out people who are living with AIDS because often they are sick with very common sicknesses like pneumonia, malaria, typhoid, or even the flu. Because their immune systems are so weak (because of AIDS), those seemingly common sicknesses become life threatening to those living with AIDS. If you meet an orphan whose parent died with AIDS, they will most likely tell you that the parent died of a common disease like typhoid or pneumonia which is true but AIDS played a big part in that.

I am not an expert on the disease by all means but I have learnt some things in the years I have lived here.

Now I know many people who are living with AIDS. Some of them are very near and dear to me.

I even had a doctor tell me once that, if he had a choice between AIDS, cancer, and diabetes, he would rather have AIDS since, with the right treatment, you can have a long and healthy life with it.

However, last week, the reality of this nasty disease became too real for me.

Kelvin got news that one of his friends was 'sick' in the hospital. We didn't know what 'sick' meant as that is how Kenyans describe any type of sickness they are feeling. But we quickly learned that he is suspected to have AIDS as a woman, who he was known to have slept with, was in the same hospital dying of AIDS. Apparently, they are certain wards that contain just people with AIDS and she was in one of those wards. Kelvin went to see her and she was already paralyzed on the left side of her body and was unable to speak. I had met the lady just a week before that.

Kelvin went to see how his buddy was doing since his family really didn't want anything to do with him if he was now infected with AIDS. People still tend to shun others who have the disease, even if they are their own family.

This lady, who was now on her death bed, wrote a list of all the men she had slept with. On this list were several more of Kelvin's friends and men in the community. After Kelvin got this list, he rounded up these men as well as some other buddies, and they all wen to get tested. Unfortunately, some came out positive.

This is when my heart really started to break for so many reasons:

- a whole bunch of men, some close buddies, all shared the same woman. I think that is pretty nasty and can only imagine how ashamed I would feel knowing my close friend and I slept with the same person.
-a lot of these men, including our friend, are actually married.
-in one day, their lives have dramatically changed because they couldn't keep it in their pants just once.
-the community probably won't be so forgiving of them now that they are infected.
-these men may have slept with other women after sleeping with this woman which means that they could have infected a whole bunch of other women. So now they may have to break the news to some women they got all cozy with, that they too need to be tested.
-I kept wondering how this woman, who was dying in the hospital, was feeling after she infected all these men. Did she know she had AIDS? Did she do it on purpose? Maybe she got it from one of them?
- this lady doesn't have any family around so I think she was dying a sad and lonely death.


The whole situation made AIDS become too real; it hit too close to home.

And my heart was heavy, really heavy.

I asked Kelvin what we can do. He said that the best thing we can do is teach those close to us to be responsible. For me, that means I have a group of young women from that community that I can reach out to to make sure it doesn't happen to them.

Finally, last night, we got the call telling us the woman died.

Mad props to my hubs

I got my first bout of food poisoning ever in Kenya. Seriously, in the almost 5 years of living here, I have had only minor tummy issues. I have actually boasted many times at my strong and durable stomach. I have even eaten things that got Kelvin sick and not me. But all that went out the window tuesday night. I went to bad not feeling so hot. To spare you the gruesome details, lets just say that I ran back and forth to the bathroom for the next 12+hours. It was not a pretty sight my friends. 

However, my superman hubby stepped in and saved the day. Well, he couldn't make my food stay in my stomach but he definitely made life more comfortable for me. He washed clothes, cleaned the bathroom (yes, it was not pretty), made himself all his meals, cleaned up after the cat, chased after our naughty cat, stocked the fridge with lots of cold water for me, cleaned all my pukey dishes, bought groceries, and even prepared a big plate of fruit after I was feeling a bit better. On top of all that, he snuggled, cuddled, prayed, and even continued to tell me how beautiful I was every time I emerged from the bathroom. 

So mad props to my beloved hubby! I adore you mister! 

It's disturbing me...

Kenyans love the word "disturbing".

"Teacher, he is disturbing me." "My kid has been disturbing me for a new phone." "These issues with my families have been disturbing me." "This pain in my stomach is really disturbing me." 


But for the last few days, something has been disturbing me.

We got news on Monday that one of our boys was really sick in bed. We knew this boy has been sick and I had started getting worried. He had been losing weight and missing practice. But when Kelvin heard he was in bed, he said enough is enough, and decided to take him to the hospital.

Kelvin went to the boys house only to be completely horrified upon entering. The house was disgusting. It was in terrible shape and incredibly dirty. He walked up to the door of the boy's room and refused to go in because his room was so filthy. Kelvin said there was nothing to cook with - no plates, cooker, food, cutlery, nothing. There was no water so all the clothes were dirty. And the mattress the boy and his brother slept on was paper thin. It really startled Kelvin.

This particular boy is one that we have sponsored. We also pay his rent because we realized that he couldn't afford to live if he was in school full time. So we offered to pay his rent and agreed with his sister that she will feed him. This boy has also caused us no end of problems. He has skipped school, been caught smoking, has lied to our faces, and been kicked off the team several times.

So Kelvin got him out of bed and took him to the doctor. The doctor said he has a severe case of scabies.  He has wounds all over his body. I mean all over his body. The poor boy.

The doctor gave him medicines and instructions to clean himself, his stuff and his place. The thing with scabies is that they are extremely contagious. His whole house is probably infested with them. It takes some thorough cleaning to make sure they go away. Trust me, I've had scabies.

As Kelvin was telling me the whole story, I was totally disturbed. Not because it was gross, but because we had no idea he lived like this. In our minds, we thought we had done something great for him only to realize he still had so much need. I can't blame the boy too much. Yes, he is older and should start taking responsibility for his cleanliness and living space. But the boy has no parents. And the ones he had weren't the greatest parents. He is one of 14 kids so naturally some of them get neglected. My mother was the one who taught me how to take care of my stuff, keep clean, and organize my life. Now if i didn't have her, I can't imagine the life I would be living. Same for this boy. No one has taught him. And no one is there to look out for him. He doesn't have a penny to his name. Thats why he couldn't get himself to the hospital. He can't even afford water (which is roughly 4cents for like 20 litres) to bath, wash his clothes, clean his house.

So it's been disturbing me the last few days.

Kelvin and I talked about taking a more holistic approach to sponsoring someone. A lot of the youth we sponsor end up having other issues that go alongside. Some of them can't afford to get to school, some can't eat or pay rent because they are not working, some have babies who need them and can't find someone to look after them while they go to school. So we are praying and brainstorming ideas about to take a more holistic approach to helping them.

One of our ideas involves housing. I thought of originally renting out a big room, filling it with nice stuff, and putting all the boys who need a little helping with their living situation in there. That way they are accountable to one another, they are accountable to us, and at least we know they are taken care of for a while. Kelvin even thought of one day opening a youth home for young people to live in. One of our boys once said to us, "I don't need a sponsorship or a loan for business. I can hustle for my food. The best thing you could help me with is to help with my living expenses." What if these young people (mostly boys) didn't have the pressure of their living expenses, and could work to put themselves through school or save up money to buy their own house or open their own business? All they need is a little help.

It's just an idea/vision right now but who knows, one day it might be a reality. At least for now we know that one of our boys is on his way to become scabies free.

Blogging Break

Well ya'll, I think I will be taking a break from blogging for the next couple weeks (unless I get the time or have something incredibly juicy to share). Life is getting rather busy right now and I am trying to just focus on my family, my wedding, my future husband, keeping myself cool, and Jesus. 

My mother arrives in Mombasa kesho and I couldn't be more excited!! I am tracking where she is at all times and praying her through her long journey to Africa. At least now my family will really understand what I go through every time I come back to Canada. It's not an easy travel that's for sure. 

Today I spent the day scrubbing every inch of my house making it ready enough for my momma. This is the first time she is coming to my home. Of course I want her to be comfortable although I know she will have to get used to showering right next to the toilet, having to light the stove with a match, and making sure a fan is always blowing cool air at you from some direction. I am sure she will look at some of my cooking utensils and wonder how I survive. I think she will just love all the fresh fruit and veggies (including the large, juicy avocados she loves to eat every morning). She told me she was brining a large toblerone bar so we can have a chocolate fondue will all the yummy tropical fruits. Oh I can't wait. 

I woke up this morning with a lump on my neck. First thing I did was panic. My grandmother just died of cancer. One way she knew the cancer was back was because she would get lumps on her neck. So naturally my first thought was that I was dying of cancer. I called Kelvin and said I needed to go to the doctor this afternoon to figure it out. I didn't want to take my mom to the doctor with me on her first day in Kenya. I calmed down and did some research and deducted that it was unlikely to be cancer. The doctor also said the same. He did some blood tests and said I had an infection (although the blood results were not completely clear.) He prescribed some anti-biotics and told me to come back in a week if nothing changes. I am not completely thrilled at the timing of this but I will deal with it. 

Otherwise we had a wonderful weekend filled with lots of friends and fun. I have such an amazing community here. I am so blessed to have a place where I belong. 

We were invited to an appreciation lunch by a ministry group that we have helped out with. The food was amazing and the company was even better. Kelvin took this picture of me with his iPhone (an old one I brought back from Canada). Sorry, that's the only picture I took this week.

We really appreciate prayers for these next couple weeks. Pray for ALL our travel plans! We have people coming from Canada, UK and the other side of Kenya. Also, Mom, Kasondra and I are going to Ilula to visit the children's home for a couple days. Pray for wedding plans. Pray for calmness. My purpose is to enjoy this process and not let the little things stress me out. Pray for KELVIN AND I! We are getting MARRIED! Whoop whoop! 

Love you all. Next time you hear from me, I will be Nikole Opiyo......

Kidney Bean Sickness?

Beans are a staple food here in Kenya. They grow well and are cheap as well as nutritious and filling. I personally have never made them because they sell them cheaper on the road outside than I could make them myself. By the time I use all this gas boiling them, I might as well just go buy them outside. However, I came home and found a large bag in my house of beans. Since they were there and I didn't want to waste food, I thought I would attempt to cook them. 

I was told that if I soak them over night that they will take less time to cook. So that's what I did. 

About an hour later I went to peek on them and found that they had softened considerably quicker than I thought they would. I showed Kelvin and he told me not to soak them any longer or else they will split. Instead, boil them for 15 minutes and then put them in the fridge. So that's what I did. 

After they finished boiling I showed Kelvin what they were like. Without thinking anything of it, I took one bean and popped in my mouth. Kelvin freaked!! "You know you are going to be running to the toilet all night if you eat them like that." "It's just a bean. I will be fine" I said. "Sawa, don't call me when you are sick." 

So I decided to look up if you can really get sick from uncooked beans. 

Turns out you can get very sick! 

I guess raw or half cooked kidney beans contain a really strong toxin that, with eating as few as 4 or 5 beans, can cause severe nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. 

In order to make sure these toxins get eliminated you must them rapidly for at least 10 minutes. Many people make the mistake of soaking them or just putting them in a slow cooker. But they must be boiled!! 

My stomach was in knots thinking about this one bean I ate. I did more research and found that I had to eat at least 3 of them before I could get really sick. Glad Kelvin screamed at me after I ate just one. 

So tonight I am going to attempt to make the beans.

 I am definitely going to make sure that I boil them fiercely before eating them. 

On flying and my stomach

My stomach does not do well with flying.

I don't get nauseas with the turbulence or anything.

I get anxious.

I dislike planes greatly. It is not a comfortable feeling at all. Thousands of meters in the air being held up by a man-made machine? Yup, awful.

I have read up on the safety of planes. They truly are one of the safest modes of travel. But that still doesn't calm my anxiety.

I had hoped to sleep on my flight to amsterdam but my mind was wide awake knowing that we are going 500kph miles above ground. I didn't eat anything except some fruit, crackers and water.

Now, I am waiting for my flight to Vancouver, anxious as can be. It's been almost 18 hours since I have eaten anything substantial.

Phillipians 4:6-7 keeps running through my head ... be anxious about nothing, be anxious about nothing, be anxious about nothing. 


Pray with me would ya? Pray that I would  start to enjoy flying. Pray I would find it relaxing rather than nerve wracking. I know God can do that for me. Pray that my feet land in Vancouver safely in the next 12 hours with a sound tummy.

Easter Blues

Hope Easter went well for all of you. 

Mine kind of sucked. 

After I posted my last post, I started feeling really ucky. It just got progressively worse until I was positive I was going to have my head in the toilet all night. God listened to my pleads and allowed my stomach to calm down so I could at least sleep through the night. I woke up in the morning still feeling awful. I decided that I should probably head to the doctor just to see if it was anything major. I haven't been feeling the greatest over the past few weeks. My tummy has just been off. After a brief visit, the doctor said I must have just eaten something and that I need to be careful with what I eat. He also encouraged me to be boiling my water on top of filtering it and sanitizing it with some water purifying chemicals. He gave me some antibiotics to clear any infection that might have occurred in my intestines, and sent me away. 

Well I slowly got better but I lost my appetite completely. I didn't eat anything but a few slices of bread for over 2 days. I was weak and tired. Kelvin was tied up all weekend at a wedding that he was helping out with so I was alone. Plus I missed my family terribly. During most holidays, I get a little homesick. I wish I was at home eating turkey with all my family and enjoying chocolate mini eggs while watching the weather turn into spring. 

With so much going through my head and body, I found it hard to concentrate on anything. I tried reading and doing some writing, but it was just a waste of time. I would put on a movie but would find myself dozing half way through. So I just sat on my couch. I did manage to get out of the house and go to a concert for a few hours Sunday afternoon. I think getting out, seeing friends, being by the beach helped me regain some strength. 

Finally Monday I started eating again and was ready to celebrate Easter. I listen to an Easter podcast and read the story of Jesus' death and resurrection humbled by what He did for ME, unworthy, undeserving ME. Kelvin bought me an Easter treat of garlic and herb cream cheese with crackers! I never splurge on things like that because they are just a tad too expensive and when you are surrounded by people who can't afford to eat 3 meals a day, its hard to pull that money out of your pocket. 

Now it's Wednesday and I am feeling much better. I am eating again. The weather seems to be slowly changing too. Yesterday was a delightfully cool day with even a few thunderstorms (which I love but most Kenyans fear). Today the boys are playing a rematch of the game that ended abruptly last week. Pray for peace, safety, and an atmosphere of a loving community. 

This is how I spend most mornings. I am just finishing up some of my travel writing courses so I spend a lot of time on my computer. I am really starting to enjoy writing (something I thought would NEVER happen). And I am not that bad at it. Maybe once I get an article or two published, I will invest in a desk and chair to work at. 

The concert we went to on Sunday was huge. I would guess there was close to 4000 people there. It featured some of Kenya's hottest gospel artists. Although to me it seemed more like a fashion show than a worship concert. 

Since it has been raining to much, the electricity has been going out a lot. I guess the power cables aren't water proof.  Kelvin and I have been asked to go to a 3 day youth camp this weekend. Kelvin is the main preacher and I will be a counsellor. So Kelvin has pulled out all my books, bibles, commentaries to prepare for the 5 sermons he is preaching. This picture was actually in the mid morning but the clouds made for a dark atmosphere so I lit a candle to help Kelvin see a little better. 

Stuffy head

I knew it would happen sooner or later. I have come down with a terrible head cold. I started to feel it coming on when I was flying over here (they make the plane cabins so cold these days) and I have been fighting it for the past 5 days. Finally, it peaked yesterday. I ended up fast asleep for about 3 hours yesterday afternoon which was surprising since my neighbours seem to think they run a disco club out of their house during the day. Even amongst the booming base, I managed to stay cool and sleep away the afternoon.

Speaking of cool, it is near non-existant right now. I had forgotten how hot Mombasa gets this time of year.  You can't go anywhere without beads of sweat dripping down your face. Even if you are standing in the shade you are sweating profusely. Plus, we kept having power outages all day yesterday so my fan would turn on and off at its own will (although the power outages were nice because the music upstairs would stop and the peace and quiet would come).

Adjusting back to Mombasa has been difficult. I am still battling some culture shock. I am finding things that I used to love, I just can't stand anymore. I love locking myself in my apartment because I don't want to face what is outside. Plus, my apartment has a nice cool breeze that runs through it so I can feel cool, somewhat. My transition has not been easy. So I have decided to take a small trip up to eldoret (my kenyan home) to visit all my loved ones up there. My culture shock is sucking the life out of me and I need my joy and zeal back. Pray for me as I take the journey tonight and pray that I will overcome this culture shock and begin to enjoy my surroundings again.

Just when you think your week sucked

My week has been kinda....sucky. For lack of a better word.

Yup, it has not been the easiest, most pleasant week of my life that's for sure. It started when I got the news that something I had been working on for a long time didn't come through. I had a lot of faith and heart and soul put into it and it just didn't happen. At first I comforted myself by saying that it wasn't meant to be and God has something better for me. But that still doesn't take away from the fact that I am disappointed.

Sometimes, as Christians, we feel we are suppose to be these uber cheery and ridiculously happy people all the time. But that's not what God has promised us. He promised us that life would be rough. There would be tough times. But he also promised us His peace and His joy which doesn't always mean being cheery and happy. His joy is that deep heart-knowledge that He is truly wonderful even when our circumstances aren't. His peace comes from knowing that He indeed has good plans for us and that there is hope for us. However, I can still cry,  can't I?

Ok, well apart from that I came down with the worst stomach flu. I had been so cautious not to get it since I knew it was going around, but of course my fears became reality when I woke up with a terrible tummy ache on monday morning. Let's just say that the rest of the day was spent in the bathroom.

I guess what makes it worse is that I was all alone. My parents had gone to Mexico on a vacation and I was by myself in the house. I absolutely dread being by myself in the house. I do not sleep if there is not another body in the house.

Then  I questioned my life and where it was going. Often I look at what I have under my belt and there is not a whole lot there. Friends are graduating from university, finding good jobs and getting married. I can't seem to find a job for the life of me and I have little schooling (and the schooling I did to was to work in the Non-profit sector ie. make no money). I know I get a little irrational (and if you knew how old I was you would think that I am crazy to be thinking stuff like this and should just enjoy my life). I wouldn't trade living and being a missionary in africa for anything. But in those low moments, that's where my mind wanders.

So if you mix my disappointment with my awful flu plus being lonely plus questioning my life and add in another dozen challenges (that seem small now but in my state, they were only one more thing to knock me down) it was a pretty sucky week.

I came to Kelowna to hang out with my brother and visit my Deda in the hospital. I have to say that my Deda is making great improvements!! I didn't know if I would ever see him again but now we are having the most precious moments together. He still has a long way to go but God has worked miracles in him. He has started asking me to pray with him. He absolutely loves it. He holds my hands and closes his eyes. He then puts this grin of contentment on his face and listens to me pray. Just as I say 'amen', he looks at me and says, "that was beautiful." He has been a little source of unexpected joy in my week.

However, I was struck in my gut as I was leaving the hospital tonight.

I got in the elevator with an older woman to go down to the first floor. She was getting off at the wrong floor so i corrected her kindly. She told me she was going to the smoking area of the hospital but didn't quite know where it was. I had passed it many times so I offered to show her where it was. We got off the elevator together and she asked what I was doing there. I told her about my grandfather and how he had been living in the ICU for the past two months. I then asked her if she was here for long and she sort of shrugged. I then realized it probably wasn't my place to ask what was wrong with her. I got a little flustered and started trying to redeem myself. She just looked at my and said,

'I have terminal cancer.'

Terminal cancer. Like the kind of cancer that will inevitably kill you sooner or later. Ouch.

I didn't know what to say to her so I just showed her where she could go have her smoke. She thanked me and that was the end of our conversation.

I walked out of the hospital with a whole new perspective. Yes, this week was tough but it can't be compared to walking around with a death sentence over your head.

Just when I thought my week sucked, God showed me how blessed I really am. 

Hours in the ICU

It's been 2 weeks since I have arrived back in Canada. I am sorry I have failed to blog but I guess Canadian life just isn't as interesting as everyday life in Canada. I could talk about the great Kraft Dinner I made the other night or the way the malls have all their christmas decorations out now. But it seems so boring.

I am in Kelowna right now where my Deda has been in the ICU for the past month. I sort of felt that I needed to come spend some time with him and my grandmother. Its a great opportunity since I am not held down with a job or anything right now. Plus I am enjoying hanging out with my brother again who lives and goes to school here. Although, we are not the chattiest brother and sister. For the past hour, we have been sitting silently in the living room with our eyes glued to our computers. That's just what our relationship is like I guess. God didn't give me a chatty sister who I could share clothes and make-up with. Instead He blessed me with a mellow brother who is super responsible and takes very good care of me but who doesn't really like to talk a lot.

I have been spending about 4 hours a day at the hospital with Deda. He is still in very critical condition. He is in one of those units that have a bajillion machines that hook up to every part of his body and beep all day long. He has his very own nurse who stares at him from their desk and is right there when he needs him or her. It's a very high-tech, exclusive area of the hospital.

It's been quite enjoyable hanging out with Deda. He is not really able to talk but just mumble/whisper so no one can really understand him. But he likes to point at things and make big facial expressions and he can be quite funny. We just found out today that he can have internet in his room so we are going to try to see if he can watch the Grey Cup tomorrow on the computer. He loves football.

The transition back to Canada has not been nearly as difficult as it has been in the past. Jet lag was awful. It took almost a week and a half to stop getting tired at 5pm and waking up at 4am. But otherwise I haven't gotten a big dose of culture shock or have any illnesses that I carried back with me. I am living simply and trying to get back involved in the community. Canada just doesn't have the same sense of community and interdependence that Kenya does. I do miss Kenya ALOT but I am determined to enjoy the moments I have here in Canada. I know that I will be back in Kenya in just a few short months.

I am learning to be prayerful in my everyday steps. I have never before spoken to God so much and so frequently through out my days. I will sit and silently pray to Him whatever is on my heart or mind at the moment. I ask Him to go ahead of all my steps whether I am entering the hospital doors or waking up in the morning or just simply reading my books. I want God to be apart of every detail of my life right now. I am leaning on Him to keep my spirits high and to diminish all feelings of loneliness and sadness. I keep checking in with Him and asking, "Ok, is this missionary life that I live REALLY what you want me to be doing?" I see all my friends and the people around me who are graduating from universities, getting good jobs, saving up for their pensions, getting married, having babies, paying mortgages and investing in stuff. And where is my life heading? To the village with no water or electricity or security. No financial stability or investments. I keep thinking about these things. I know they are not things that we should really strive for or base our decisions on but we must be wise and plan carefully. But the more I seek God, He keeps reassuring me that He has good plans for me. He will provide all that I need. He has given me a passion and He wants me to pursue it. I think He would rather have someone who finds their passion and lights the world on fire for Him than someone who just settles for anything that will pay the bills for the rest of their lives.

As you can see, my thoughts go back and forth and are a bit mumble jumbled at the moment but hence why I am seeking God more than ever. When there is uncertainty in my life, I come closer to Him and listen more carefully to where He is leading me. It almost makes me crave being more uncertain in my life so that I would drawer nearer to my God.

The Cost

On friday morning, I got an email from my mom asking me to pray for my Deda (grandfather in Russian) as he had an aneurism that was leaking blood into his belly. He was being rushed to a hospital 4 hours away. The doctors didn't think that he was going to make it to the hospital. Usually, they evacuate these types of patients by airplane but it just happened to start snowing that night and, when it snows in the little valley we live in, its very dangerous to land or take off. So they had to drive him. He had 5 people attending to him in the back of the ambulance for the 4 hour drive. Thank the Lord he made it and had a successful surgery.

However, he is still not out of the woods. He is currently on life support and kidney dialysis. His organs are pretty damaged from the trauma they experienced. He is in critical condition. So it's a bit of a waiting game. Many doctors have hope. Some think he will get worse before he gets any better. BUt there is always the possibility his body may not be able to recover. We are just waiting. 

It's not easy being so far away when things like this happen. The toughest part when leaving is trusting that God will take care of your loved ones while you are away and that you will see them again when you return. You have to surrender them completely to God. And you never really know what will happen. But that's the cost of following Christ. 

Jesus says, 'take up your cross and follow me.' He asks us to give up everything and follow Him where He leads you. He says drop your pride, your security, your good job or promising future, your money, your rights, and even the people you love the most, and follow Him. It differs for everyone. Not everyone has to drop their money-making job or their health insurance. Sometimes that's where He wants you. But He doesn't want you to get to comfortable there. Because He may just ask you to give that up too. He needs willing hearts; hearts that are willing to follow Him wherever, whenever, and do whatever He asks of you. 

God has lead me to Kenya. I have full peace that I am right where he wants me to be. It's not always easy to be here but I really love it. God has asked me to give up my comfy life and shine His light to the people here in Kenya. It's not for everyone. I believe God has given me a special grace to do it. But it comes with a cost. Yes, I had to give up my rights to a bed without bed bugs, a flush toilet, awesome food, personal safety, and many other things. But I also came knowing that anything could happen to my family. I knew coming that I may not come home and see all my family members. 

I now know that I may or may not get to see my Deda again. It's not an easy thing to come to terms with but thats what He asked of me. And I do it. Because I love Him more than anything else in this world. He gave Himself for me that I may know Him. 

"He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does to take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of me." Matthew 10:37-38

Please pray for my Deda. It's not easy. This weekend has been heavy on me. My family is all with him now in the hospital. As far as I know, he is doing fine. Please pray that, when I get home on Nov. 14th, he will still be there to welcome me home. 

Actophlem to the rescue

It's been about 5 weeks since I started coughing. It started as a light cough caused by a small tickle in my throat and it had turned into a painful, raspy chest cough that I couldn't get to stop. I went to a good doctor several times. He gave me several medicines that eased the pain but never cured it. He did chest x-rays and blood tests. He gave me anti-biotics. But nothing worked. I tried cutting different foods out of my diet. People here blamed the cold weather (a freezing 25 degrees Celsius) for my chest problems and kept urging me to bundle up as if winter in Canada has come. Eventually, the bronchitis caused me to have sinus problems where I would wake up with a stuffed head and plugged ears everyday. I was getting tired of it. I would wake up every morning and ask God to heal me. Ok, sometimes I cried, literally, that God would get rid of it.

And He almost has.

I went to visit a lady on the compound who has struggled with bronchitis issues her whole life. She told me to take "Actophlem." It's a cough syrup that is cheap and that you can buy at almost any pharmacy. So last Sunday I decided to try it.

I have taken it for a week now and my cough has decreased at least 90%! I don't hack away when I am in the middle of a conversation with someone. I don't choke up my lungs. I don't hear this fog horn noise come out of my chest when I laugh. It's wonderful.

So today I am thanking everyone for their prayers. It's not completely gone but I am definitely on the road to recovery. Thank you Jesus for creating Actophlem!

Administering Antibiotics

I have a nasty cold. I thought it would just be a minor head cold but it has struck my whole body. I have troubles walking for more than a few meters without sitting down. My legs feel like mush. I have lost my appetite. I have a nasty cough and stuffed up head. Extra strength sinutab isn't doing anything. I am stuck in bed. It's a bit lonely and rather boring especially without a TV or someone to talk to. But I need to slow down and allow my body to fight the yuckies that are making me feel this way.

Yesterday I asked my roommate to pick me up some throat lozenges when she went to the shopping centre. She came back a few hours later with a package full of antibiotics. She told me that she told the pharmacist the symptoms I was having and the pharmacist suggested I take these antibiotics. I am very cautious when it comes to antibiotics. I was taught at an early age about the abuse of antibiotics that results in the resistance of them. I know that they only fight bacterial infections so what if my infection is a viral one? Back home, you can only get antibiotics if they are prescribed by a doctor. In Kenya, it's a different story. Antibiotics are cheap and easily accessible. Often it is the pharmacists (or chemists as they call them here) who will suggest them for you. I am not convinced they have the proper education to do that.

So now I have a package of antibiotics sitting in my room. I stare at it wondering if I should take it. Considering how I feel, I am tempted but being this unsure, I think I will stay away from them until I get permission from a doctor.

Dad's Adventure Challenge.

I am so proud of my daddy. I remember him telling me about this dream he had to be apart of the Adventure Challenge that raises money for Canack Place. My dad has a big heart for helping sick kids. He inspires me!

So he needs to raise at least $1000 CAD in order to participate in the race which in includes biking, kayaking and running. If you feel compelled to donate or cheer him on, check out his blog below!


Kere's Adventure Challenge

Way to go daddy!