Upon returning home on Monday morning, homesickness began to creep up on me. Around 4pm, I just couldn't hold back the tears and struggled to figure out why I was so upset. I realized that I just missed home.
It's not an unfamiliar feeling for me but it is rare nowadays. In the past two weeks, I have had several people ask if I miss home and I proudly answered that I miss my family but not really home. I am pretty content here in Kenya. That's why I was so surprised that I was in such a misery come Monday afternoon.
And when you are so homesick, it seems like every small thing becomes a HUGE obstacle. And mostly I start to blame it all on 'Africa'. "Ugh, kenya power sucks!" "Africa is so corrupt" "It's so dirty in Africa. Why can't it just be clean." "Its so dysfunctional here in Africa."
I was actually picking out pumpkin seeds to roast, tears dripping down my face, while murmuring, "Stupid Kenyan pumpkin seeds are so hard to get out!"
Tuesday and Wednesday got a tad better but I still had a few moments of tears and murmured "I hate Africa" a few more times. However on Wednesday afternoon, I had a mini-meltdown after realizing that my internet modem is broken and needs to be replaced. It was especially disheartening after we had just put a large deposit on our new apartment (which we are really excited for!!) that pretty much sucked up all my savings. Just one more thing that we need to shell out some cash for. Nonetheless, I sucked it up and went and bought a new one - which is working gloriously now.
I was reading an article on SheLoveMagazine this morning and I came across this video. At first I laughed, because there is a lot of truth in it, and then I cringed realizing that that was me. Although I live in Africa, I still complain about 'First World Problems'.
So today I am no longer complaining (which is easier now that my internet is back). I am purposing to just let things go and enjoy the small stuff.
I love the last one "I hate when they put pickles on even when I ask for no pickles".