Friday, September 10, 2010

My heart hurts...

My heart has been heavy lately. There has been so much going on around me and my small mind can't take it all in. It's funny because it is not stuff that is necessarily directly affecting me (well there is some stuff that is directly affecting me) but most of it is just in the world. I have been reading news and watching whats happening around me and my heart hurts.

I have been blessed and cursed with a heart full of compassion. As wonderful as it is and as much as it compels me to do the things I do, it hurts. It makes me hurt for others. It makes me hurt when I see what's going on around me.

One thing that really hit me hard this week was news that a pastor wanted to have at Koran burning day. I was shocked. I get it; he doesn't believe in the Koran. That's not a problem. We are not forced to believe in it. I am just wondering how it affects him and what prompted this act? Was he hurt by a Muslim? I guess what really breaks my heart is that here is a pastor, who I am assuming knows the bible, and he is doing such a thing. Doesn't the bible say we should love our enemies? Aren't we suppose to bless those who curse us? What about if someone hits us, let us give him the other cheek too? Simple bible message. Anyways, it's just been something I have been dwelling on.

Ramadan ended today. So fascinating watching Muslims come out of their hiding places to celebrate. As I was driving to town, Muslim families were lined up beside the road trying to get a lift. I was surrounded by them as I got on to the ferry. It was everywhere. I liked watching and observing all that was going on around me.

And then there was one thing that has sort of pushed me over the edge...

I was reading the newspaper yesterday and came across an article about the Congo. For some reason, I became very interested in this country a few years ago. The way the women are being treated and raped like they are animals makes me cringe. The article was about how the UN has failed in their mission as they have heard of over 500 women being raped in the past few months. Ouch, my heart just cracked a little more. But the WORST part was the picture that was featured in the article. It was a picture of a soldier walking past a woman....casually caressing her breast.

Snap, my heart just broke.

I just can't imagine. A man just walks past me and feels like he has the right to caress my breast. Not only that, that moment is now captured and featured in the national newspaper. I really am torn. I just have a hard time even fathoming that. I feel for that woman. In the picture, she looked as if it was a common occurrence, like it was nothing new. If it was me, I would yell, push his hand away, then beat him possibly to death. But she just stood there, as if it was just the hand she has been dealt in life.

Tonight my heart is heavy, it's breaking. If my heart is like this, I can only imagine what God is thinking and feeling.

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