The Best Expression of Love is TIME

.... And the best use of life is LOVE.


I want to LOVE and love HARD. That's my heart's desire. I truly believe the best way to use my life is to LOVE; to love GOD and to love OTHERS.

I just read Day 16 in The Purpose Driven life and it spoke exactly into my life today.

I realized a few days ago that meeting with the girls on Saturdays just isn't enough. Some of them really want to connect during the week. I opened our little centre on Wednesday and was pretty amazed at how many people just dropped in to see me once they realized I was inside. I had a group of young girls from the local primary school walk by and ask if I would play some games with them. I had some other young women ask how my day was. I had a couple girls show up early for our weekly bible study. Then I had one of my young ladies come just wanting to chat. Since it was late, we didn't have a ton of time but, by the way she sounded, I knew we needed to meet again this week just to chat.

So today I went to Kongowea early with Kelvin. It was pretty boring. Kelvin and I bickered over who plays sudoku better and then went on to a mean game of UNO. I was just about to give up and go home when my lady walked in.

I opened our centre next door and got right to asking her what is going on. Well, two hours later we were still chatting. I listened mostly actually. I listened to the crazy things that have happened to her this week. I listened to her as she explained to me how hurt she was when both her parents passed away. I listened as talked about the things she is learning about God (Allah, to her). I listened to her as she tried to explain to me how to make samosas. I did very little talking which, if you ask my husband, is abnormal for me. As we closed up and we went our separate ways, she said, "Thanks Nikole. At least I feel more relaxed now."

I got home and opened my book and read all about LOVE and how the BEST expression of love is giving up some of my time - time that I could be making more money for myself or indulging in self pleasures - and focusing my attention on someone else, forgetting for a little while about myself, my needs, my problems, my wants, my desires, me.

Like I said above, I was about to give up and go home. I thought I would rather be sitting at home on my computer than wasting time in Kongowea. But I waited until she showed up and I am so glad I did.

I really LOVE my girls. I so do. I need to give them more of my time.

Just want to tell you a funny story.

The other week, our topic with the girls was dating. It had come up in one of our conversations a few weeks back and I thought we should explore it better. I asked the girls, "What does dating look like in your community? As in, what are some things you and your boyfriend do?"

One girl piped up, "We exchanged phones."

A little confused, I correct her, "You exchange phone numbers?" thinking she had a problem with english.

"No, we trade phones. I give him my phone and he gives me his."

I started to giggle. "Ok, so why do you do that?"

"You know, so we can admire each others photos and songs on the phones."

I guess its a big thing here like going out for dinner and a movie with your boyfriend back home. Well, that's how my girls do it!!!

Thoughts on terrorist threats

I was laying in bed Friday evening checking emails on my phone just as I was about to close my eyes for the day when a dear friend, who lives in another part of the country, forwarded me a message that the US Embassy had just sent out to its citizens. It was an emergency travel alert urging all Americans in Mombasa to leave immediately. They ordered all government workers to leave the city immediately and they suspended all government travel to Mombasa until July 1st. The reason: they had reason to believe that there was an 'imminent terrorist threat' in the city.

We have been under terrorist watch since October. It's almost old news now. There have been a few random bombings here and there around the country including two in Mombasa. Security has been beefed up. I get checked for bombs everywhere I go now, including church.

 After reading this email, I thought 'no big whoop' but as I tried to shut my eyes, it kept nagging at me. This was more serious. For the american government to be evacuating all its government officials so suddenly means that something must be cooking. I started to get a little worried.

Kelvin climbed into bed and I told him. He looked at me and said, 'are you worried?' I sort of shook it off like, 'Nah, not really.' But it did bother me. I kept thinking about how, the next day, I had plans to travel up and about the city like a mad woman and what would happen if there was an attack. I didn't sleep very well.

Nevertheless, we got up in the morning and went about our day. Around noon, I got another text message saying that even BBC has profiled the US's terror alert. Yikes!! A travel warning for Kenya has never made headlines on BBC. This must be serious. I began to get a little panicked but decided to continue through my day. I prayerfully travelled from one place to another. The crazy down pour didn't help the already tense atmosphere. I made it home safe that evening.

The warning made the top story on all the local news channels striking fear in the hearts of all Americans. Yah, it made me a little nervous. I decided that it can't run my life but I can be a bit more cautious of where I go. I decided to avoid large shopping centres and the downtown area as much as possible.

You know when you are purposely not doing something and then the temptation to do it gets even stronger? Its like when someone says, 'don't push that button!' and then all of a sudden the temptation to push it gets even stronger? So I made this rule that I wouldn't hit up any large shopping mall but I just couldn't resist. I caved and we went for ice cream at the mall Sunday morning. The ice cream sundae seemed to melt away my fears for a while.

Sunday night, a shady local bar was bombed in the outskirts of Mombasa. It wasn't exactly the attack I was looking for. It seems like someone just took advantage of the fear and decided to throw a few grenades.

It's now thursday and all is calm. I have heard of a few americans cancelling their trips to Mombasa but thats it. It's high tourist season now(most tourists being from Europe) so it seems like the white people are streaming into the city instead of away from it. Every time I see one walking around I think to myself, 'don't they know there is a major terror alert!?' They don't seem bothered by it. Security is now extra-beefed up in high tourist areas.

Last night we went to a local bar to watch the semi-finals of the Euro. In all honesty, I thought to myself, "This is where someone would throw a grenade." I kept imagining it being thrown upstairs (where we were sitting). Yes, a little irrational.

The night ended in a penalty shoot out. Spain beat Portugal 4-2. Tonight, Germany plays. I think we will stay inside and watch it from home. Yah, that's a good idea.

One day tournament for the boys

The team got invited to a one day, knock-out tournament put on by a local mission station just north of Mombasa. It was not only a soccer tournament but a whole family fun day for the community. We were among the first to arrive (actually our boys arrived on time before Kelvin and I- they are becoming so disciplined!) It just happened to be one of the few rainy days we get in Mombasa. I loved the rain but it made for a wet, damp, muddy day. I was with them in the morning but had to jet back to Kongowea to meet with my lovely ladies. Here are some photos Kelvin took of the day. 

The crew for the day!

They had camel rides for the kids. Secretly, I wanted a ride. 

They won their first game in a shoot out. Then they won their second game 3-1. Here they are racing over to Kelvin after their second win. They moved on to the finals. 

 So much excitement! And a few bumps and bruises.

The beginning of the final game. Unfortunately, they lost. But it was a great day for them.

 The team came home with a ball, trophy, and certificate. Every boy wanted a picture with them. 

 

All in all, they totally enjoyed themselves. They played well, got out of their community, and got to enjoy a day out together.

An Ethiopian Date

A new fancy shmancy Ethiopian restaurant/lounge has just opened at the mall down the street from us. Since we have made it 6 months in marriage and there were a few other things that we were excited about and thanking God for, we decided to treat ourselves to a nice night out. What a better way to celebrate than stuff our mouths with delicious Ethiopian food. 

 My past experiences with Ethiopian weren't great but this food was delicious. We ordered pan-fried goat 'bits', chicken in a yummy tomato sauce and, of course, lots of Injera.

Kelvin must have been a little dishevelled after listening to the terrible karaoke singer.

The lounge is on the top floor of the mall and looks out over the highway and forest. Awesome ambiance. Cheers to a great husband, meal, night, God!!

6 months

We made it six months! Yes, 6 months ago today we made a covenant vow and became 1 forever and ever. He will never get rid of me! It seems like such an accomplishment. It is, really.  

Let me share with you some things that I have learned in my first 6 months of marriage:

1. Seeking to please God brings so much more joy than seeking to please my husband. I wash my husbands clothes because it is pleasing to God. I make my husband supper every night because it is pleasing to God. I create a wonderful home for Kelvin to come home to because it is pleasing to God. I must do these things to please God not just Kelvin. Because sometimes Kelvin doesn't even notice. I don't expect him to. The fact is that GOD is the one who grants me JOY in my obedience to Him. Most often it is in the small things like folding his clothes.

2. Forgive, forgive, forgive. Never in my life have I had to forgive so much. It's more than just saying 'I forgive you' when the other person apologizes. Forgiveness is letting them go without punishment.  Forgiveness is bearing the hurt of someone else's sin. Forgiveness is not holding grudges. Forgiveness is allowing God to heal you instead of seeking justice. Forgiveness is a choice that you can't wait till you 'feel' like doing it. Forgiveness is important to God.

3. Let it go. I have learned to let things go. Just let it go. Does it really matter? In the long run, does it matter that he used the hand towel in the bathroom to wipe the toilet? Does it matter that he forgot to bring tomatoes home so you have to change your meal? No, just do it and let it go. Let things go. Makes life easier for both of you.

4. Laugh. Smile. Delight. Laugh at his jokes even when they aren't fun. Laugh at his adorable character. Delight in his mannerisms. Smile when you greet him at the door when he comes home from work. Spend time together laughing. Delight in his quirks, find quirks to delight in. Answer him with smile. Talk on the phone to him with a smile. In general, be cheery and bring cheerfulness even if you don't feel like.

5. Surround yourself with other wives who you trust. I have been blessed to have some awesome women around me that I can look up to, talk to, confide in. It is so much nicer knowing that you are not alone in your struggles, joys, ups and downs in marriage. Many women go through the same things. I have found so much encouragement in the lovely wives around me.

6. PRAY for your husband. At the bridal shower I attended this weekend, the lady who was speaking to us said that, "Praying for our husbands is a neglected ministry." It's true. We wives need to get on our hands and knees and stand in gap for our husbands. Pray for every detail of his life: his friends, his decisions, his protection, his work, his walk with God, his health, his finances, his worry/fears/doubts, his love for us wives, his attitude, his mind, his responsibilities, etc. Pray, pray, pray!

I am sure that I have only scratched the surface of all things I will learn in marriage in my lifetime. I think that's the fun part though. It's a journey of learning, loving, and companionship. I am so excited for the rest of our lives!

My Daddy

Have to make a shout out to my paps. I know its a day late but Sunday was busy - went to church and then got ambushed to go to a super fun bridal shower which didn't end till late. I was thinking of Daddy the whole time, I swear.

I am a Daddy's girl through and through. The epitome of a Daddy's girl in fact. My heart breaks when I see girls without an awesome Dad like mine because I know how crucial this relationship is in a young lady's life. If it weren't for my dad, I wouldn't be the self respecting woman I am today.


Happy Father's Day paps! Sending you loads of love from way over here!

Mad props to my hubs

I got my first bout of food poisoning ever in Kenya. Seriously, in the almost 5 years of living here, I have had only minor tummy issues. I have actually boasted many times at my strong and durable stomach. I have even eaten things that got Kelvin sick and not me. But all that went out the window tuesday night. I went to bad not feeling so hot. To spare you the gruesome details, lets just say that I ran back and forth to the bathroom for the next 12+hours. It was not a pretty sight my friends. 

However, my superman hubby stepped in and saved the day. Well, he couldn't make my food stay in my stomach but he definitely made life more comfortable for me. He washed clothes, cleaned the bathroom (yes, it was not pretty), made himself all his meals, cleaned up after the cat, chased after our naughty cat, stocked the fridge with lots of cold water for me, cleaned all my pukey dishes, bought groceries, and even prepared a big plate of fruit after I was feeling a bit better. On top of all that, he snuggled, cuddled, prayed, and even continued to tell me how beautiful I was every time I emerged from the bathroom. 

So mad props to my beloved hubby! I adore you mister! 

What's been rolling around in my head

I ignore little children and sometimes give them an evil glare. Terrible isn't it? But honestly, they annoy me. I walk through Kongowea and get a ton of kids asking me 'how are you?' or 'how waw wou?'. Some make fun of my accent, some yell at me non stop from across the field, some are just plain rude. I get so tired of it that I ignore them and sometimes even give them a look to tell them that it is not ok to harass the white person. Why are white people such a novelty? I started telling one of my girls how I hate kids who just pester me. Her reply was, "Yes, but don't they do the same to us in your place? Don't they call us black monkeys?" NO! I have never heard that before. If a black person was to walk around in my hometown, they might get a few stares since our town is so white but no one will say anything racist to them. They won't get harassed by every kid yelling at them, "Black person! Black person!"I told my girls that if their kids say that to me, I will ignore them. Yep, I will ignore sweet children.

One minute your a great politician, the next your charred body is shown on tv for all to see.
Kenya suffered a tragedy on Sunday. A helicopter carrying the minister and assistant minister of internal security crashed into a forest just outside Nairobi. It was sad. We sat and watched TV as they showed live footage of the crash. Since it was live, they showed us the charred bodies of the people on board spread out all over the forest. They were burnt beyond recognition. On board was the minister of internal security who was also the vice-president for about 10 years in the 90's. A big man in the country and a big influence in politics. He was still very active and was actually running for president in the next elections.

What struck me most was that a man who Kenyans worship (yes, Kenyans seem to worship their politicians like God) literally fell to his death. A man of such honour, valour, respect had his lowly body burnt beyond recognition and aired on national television. Humbling? Seriously, we have a big God. We may think  people are big but in an instant you can be brought down. Literally.

Charred Bodies. Combined with the lynched man I saw a few weeks ago, these charred bodies I saw on tv remain etched in my mind. Oh Lord erase it now!!

Canada doesn't want new people in their country. We have been really looking into immigration lately knowing that, one day, I would like to bring my husband to my home country. Wow, it isn't an easy task. I have been so overwhelmed with all the requirements and rules and paperwork and fees. It just makes me want to stay in Kenya forever. Maybe that's the point. Maybe Canada doesn't really want more people in the country so they just make the immigration process so daunting that it turns people away and they decide its not worth it. Well, it's working.

Forgiveness. I seem to run into that word everywhere I go. Two weeks ago, we studied forgiveness as a topic in our bible study with the girls. They couldn't wrap their heads around what it truly means to forgive.

A few months ago, I had a man tell me that marriage is really a test to see how well you can forgive. I believe that now. I really think Kelvin and I have had to forgive more in the past five months than in our entire lives.

We went to a play on Sunday afternoon and it was all about forgiveness and what can happen to families who don't forgive. Sobering to see it played out in front of you.

Then on saturday I chatted with my girls about the consequences of careless sex. I made them do skits about a young girl who has sex in their community and what can happen. Well, in all the skits, the girl got pregnant and their parents disowned them. Yes, unfortunately parents, family, friends, the community have a  hard time forgiving young girls who get pregnant out of wedlock. Especially the family. They feel the girl has disgraced them so they can't forgive them. They literally disown them. Where is the forgiveness? Where is the grace? I assured them that if any would get pregnant, I would be here with open arms to help them through. I will love their babies. I will forgive them and not condemn them. Jesus forgave them, why shouldn't I?

Dates with my hubs. We are trying to come up with new, fun, adventurous, exciting and cheap things to do as a couple. We don't have a ton of money to spend but we are trying to be creative. We want to start early in our marriage to create a culture of 'dating' each other regularly. Right now, it's easy. We don't have a ton of distractions like work, kids, family, etc. But it will all come. And we need to learn how to retreat and spend time together. I've learned that Kelvin isn't the most creative when it comes to romance or dates. I have come up with most ideas. But we are open to anything. What about you? What are some of your favourite dates or things to do with your loved one??

Chocolate. I want to devour it all. the. time.

There you go. Just some random things I have been thinking about in the past week or so.

My favourite night of the week

Wednesday evenings are my fav.

I started a small bible study with a handful of the girls in my saturday ladies group who were keen on learning more about the bible. I started my first week with only three girls. Now, we are in the fourth week and I have 7 girls. Yipee!!

I love it.

First of all, I love studying my bible. So many treasures in there. Greatest book ever!

Secondly, I love seeing my girls so interested in Jesus. They are so hungry to understand and know God. They have grown up in a society of pretty radical bible teachings (and teachers). Most of them don't even own their own bibles so they just soak up every word every preacher tells them without actually checking if it is true. Hence why they have the craziest ideas about God.

We have started really simple. We are learning the basics right now. But its been so wonderful watching it click for them. I can see it on their faces when the bible verse makes sense to them or one of their personal questions has been answered.

And trust me, they have A LOT of questions. Crazy questions that make me so angry at the people who are teaching them the craziest things.

One of them will ask a question like, "Is it true that God's spirits are more alert and awake to hear your prayers in the morning?" Then, before I get a chance to talk, they will all chip in their two cents. With this particular question, they all agreed that Yes, God will listen to us more closely in the morning. After they debated it amongst themselves, I stepped in and pointed them to scripture. I don't have to say much before it clicks and their answer is clear. I love that!!!

So I must go get myself ready to meet my precious ladies this evening. Our topic today is forgiveness.

Girly Fun

Our girls group is still going strong. We have had a few come and go. Some have gotten jobs or gone to school. Some have moved or been told they can't come till the holidays so they can focus on school. It's been a bit challenging cause I never know who or how many are going to show up. I try plan for games but sometimes we don't have enough people or it just isn't as fun with so few people. I plan things with specific people in mind but then they choose not to show up that day. Nevertheless, we are still havin' fun and being girls. 

I introduced them to the famous bridal shower game of making a wedding dress out of tissue paper. They thought I was nuts at first but they ended up totally enjoying it. They were also much more creative than I thought they would be. 

 Pheobe was a good model. Her team decided to put a 'tiara' on her which ended up looking more like a flight attendant hat. It didn't go over so well with the judges. 

And they had a little troubles with the train. 

 Irene and Susan did a good job. Irene ended up winning with their creative earrings and knot design. 

Then I brought out the balloons....who knew ballon could be so much fun! I came up with a whole bunch of games to do with balloons. This was one of the best.

 They girls had to keep the balloon in between their bodies and race. The trick was that they couldn't touch the balloons. 

These girls ended up winning. They were speedy! 

Like always, we laughed at the sheer absurdity of our games. Embarrassingly, I usually come up with these games that I am terrible at! I usually stand to the side for the first few rounds to be the judge or ref but then i join in. Once I join in, I totally ruin things or lose so quickly. 

Anyways just to show you that we are still having fun. I am planning a fun outing for them in the next couple weeks. I am thinking bowling...or beach picnic...or a local play. Something fun for these precious girls. 

Discovering Kaloleni

Like I mentioned, Kelvin had this car and this client that he had to drive around. The client's home area is just outside of Mombasa called Kaloleni. After driving there for two days, Kelvin fell in love and said he just had to take me there. Saturday morning, at 7am, we packed up and hit the road. We battled crazy traffic just to get out of the city, but once in the country side, we were in heaven. We pumped up the worship music and cruised through the village. After only a few miles, I understood why Kelvin loved it so much. 

Acres and acres of gorgeous land with humble homesteads all over the place.

 This was probably the worst patch of road we drove on. Seriously, the roads were better than in Mombasa city. 

 This area is FULL of palm trees. It's also a big producer of mnazi, a local palm wine that is cheap and addictive for the locals. 

 I started dreaming of having our own little homestead in this area one day. Of course, it won't quite look like this one but similar.

 Palm trees galore!

All that green is plantations of palm trees. I don't think I have ever seen so many palm trees in my life! 

Who knows, maybe one day we will buy ourselves a few acres, set up a children's home, and life the village life. 

A morning drive

One of our clients asked Kelvin if he could rent a car and be our client's chauffeur for two days. Kelvin quickly agreed. Kelvin loves driving. Actually, we both do but we rarely get the opportunity to. To rent a car for 24 hours costs about $30 plus gas. It's just not worth it for us especially when we can spend less than $2 a day on public transport. 

This deal is pretty sweet. We get the car for two nights. Kelvin has had to be a personal driver for two days but he is ok with that. This particular client is a drunkard so there is no way he could drive himself. Kelvin gets to bring the car home and use it for himself when our client doesn't need him. 

So this morning, we had just turned on a movie as we were eating breakfast when the power went out. I then asked if we could go for a morning drive. 

One of our favourite things to do with a car is to explore all the areas around Mombasa that you can't get to with public transport. It has led us on some pretty fun adventures. 

This morning we decided to go inland behind our apartment building and see the village life. I was surprised that, not too far from where we stay, there are villages with mud houses and all. I guess I think Mombasa is so metropolitan. 

It has also been a gloriously overcast day. That's why the pictures are grey. 

 My personal chauffeur

 We drove past one of the largest prisons on the coast (which I learned that Canada helps fund). I was shocked to see all the prisoners working outside in the fields where there is no fencing keeping them in. Those white poles  don't have any fencing in between them. Those prisoners could totally make a run for it. 

Home sweet home. Well, it's where we live. Not sure I would call it 'home'. Its our apartment building. 

Looking forward to going out to our favourite joint for breakfast tomorrow. I think we'll drive there. 

Figure 8 or Figure 1

Well it seems I have gained a noticeable amount of weight. I have had quite a few people tell me that I have 'added weight' or 'increased' or 'gotten fat' as they graciously put it. In fact, on Wednesday, my girls asked if I was pregnant before we started bible study. For those who are curious, No, I am not pregnant. 

I have noticed I have gained weight. Not a ton, but enough to make my clothes a little tighter. However, this is the first time I am actually excited that I have a little chunk on me. 

In Kenya, big is beautiful. Often, I feel a little out of place cause my butt is so flat. Honestly, women here are blessed with beautiful curves. I guess, some part of me, wants to fit in. 

But funny how in the West, skinny is beautiful. Thin, lean, slightly muscular is gorgeous. 

Amazing how society can control what is beautiful and what isn't. Amazing that what is beautiful in one place is not beautiful in another. 

I decided to chat with the girls about body image while we sat making beaded necklaces on Saturday. I asked them what the desired body image is in Kenya. 

"Figure 8"

As in a curvy, hour glass shape. In fact, they desire a large behind than a large bust. They say that a lot of guys actually prefer smaller busts. But what counts is the curvy behind. And let me tell you, African women have quite the behinds. When they dance, its like their butts are a completely different entity from the body. Seriously. 

I asked about skin colour because, believe or not, there are different shades of black. So is lighter skin more attractive or darker? 

"Black is beautiful" 

They have been taught since they were little that black is indeed beautiful. And they are all black. They are proud of their colour. 

I then began to explain how we desire thin, thin, thin. Like straight, like the number 1. Well, one girl took a while to figure out what I was talking about. Once she did, she couldn't stop laughing. "You want to look like a stick?" she burst out. I said, "Yes, I guess so." They all continued to giggle. 

I am officially proud of the tiny curves I am gaining. 

Anyways, here is some pics of our beading adventures. 

Headshots

This week I took some headshots of some of our youth. There is a fundraiser going on at home for our projects so they wanted to see the faces of our precious young people. These aren't all of them but I thought I would just share a few. 

Lynched

Yesterday, as we were coming home, I witnessed my first lynched body. Yep, a human body.

Our matatu started to slow down and traffic was backing up a little. I noticed mobs of people on both sides of the road. Now, I hate crowds in Kenya. They freak me right out. If there is a large crowd following or looking at something in particular, my red flag shoots right up and I get out of there fast. Kenyans have a very strong 'mob mentality'. I don't know why. Maybe they are curious or bored or need something to get them fired up. But they usually run towards a crowd rather than away. And if something is happening in that crowd, like let's saying, lynching a body, then they will just join into the crowd without thinking about it.

So like I was saying, there were crowds on both sides of the road. I immediately clutch my bag (which now I giggle at thinking that that is my first reaction to danger) and looked at Kelvin. He said to me that it's probably something political since there were some big political rallies in Mombasa happening. As we slowly drove through the crowd, I noticed all eyes were looking at a particular thing on the ground. As we got closer, someone in our matatu said, "RIP" and I knew it was bad. Just as we drove past, I got a glimpse of the body.

I immediately turned away and said, 'Oh my God!' Yah, I don't usually use the Lord's name in vain but this shook me.

All of a sudden, I felt raw. It was such a raw reality. A living, breathing human body is now laying on the side of the road, charred will lumps of coal piled on top.

Now I have seen many dead bodies before. I have seen bodies that have been mixed and mangled from car crashes and other accidents. I have witnessed last breaths. I have escorted moms to the morgue to see their babies. I have been to open-casket funerals. So dead bodies don't bother me. For this, it was the whole situation that bothered me. Watching a human being burn on the ground in the name of 'mob justice'.

We assume the guy did something like stole or slept with someone's wife. Something of that matter. And the locals took it upon themselves to deal with the man.

Really!? REALLY!? Must you go so far...

Of course it made me ponder life and how precious it is. It made me wonder how people can be so cruel to burn a man alive. It made me sick thinking about how all those people gathered just to watch some body burn. They didn't seem to mind. Their faces were blank. I think if I was to stand there I would start balling. I wouldn't want to get a whiff of burning flesh.

My thoughts are still mixed. That image has flashed through my mind for the last 24 hours. I feel anger, hurt, pain, injustice, heartache, fury, confusion, and so many other things. That's just it.

Lynched

Yesterday, as we were coming home, I witnessed my first lynched body. Yep, a human body.

Our matatu started to slow down and traffic was backing up a little. I noticed mobs of people on both sides of the road. Now, I hate crowds in Kenya. They freak me right out. If there is a large crowd following or looking at something in particular, my red flag shoots right up and I get out of there fast. Kenyans have a very strong 'mob mentality'. I don't know why. Maybe they are curious or bored or need something to get them fired up. But they usually run towards a crowd rather than away. And if something is happening in that crowd, like let's saying, lynching a body, then they will just join into the crowd without thinking about it.

So like I was saying, there were crowds on both sides of the road. I immediately clutch my bag (which now I giggle at thinking that that is my first reaction to danger) and looked at Kelvin. He said to me that it's probably something political since there were some big political rallies in Mombasa happening. As we slowly drove through the crowd, I noticed all eyes were looking at a particular thing on the ground. As we got closer, someone in our matatu said, "RIP" and I knew it was bad. Just as we drove past, I got a glimpse of the body.

I immediately turned away and said, 'Oh my God!' Yah, I don't usually use the Lord's name in vain but this shook me.

All of a sudden, I felt raw. It was such a raw reality. A living, breathing human body is now laying on the side of the road, charred will lumps of coal piled on top.

Now I have seen many dead bodies before. I have seen bodies that have been mixed and mangled from car crashes and other accidents. I have witnessed last breaths. I have escorted moms to the morgue to see their babies. I have been to open-casket funerals. So dead bodies don't bother me. For this, it was the whole situation that bothered me. Watching a human being burn on the ground in the name of 'mob justice'.

We assume the guy did something like stole or slept with someone's wife. Something of that matter. And the locals took it upon themselves to deal with the man.

Really!? REALLY!? Must you go so far...

Of course it made me ponder life and how precious it is. It made me wonder how people can be so cruel to burn a man alive. It made me sick thinking about how all those people gathered just to watch some body burn. They didn't seem to mind. Their faces were blank. I think if I was to stand there I would start balling. I wouldn't want to get a whiff of burning flesh.

My thoughts are still mixed. That image has flashed through my mind for the last 24 hours. I feel anger, hurt, pain, injustice, heartache, fury, confusion, and so many other things. That's just it.

Prayers for Protection

I can't take my daily protection for granted. Not in this country. Not with all the crazy things that happen daily.

A few weeks ago, Kelvin started praying. Every time he prayed, he always thanked God for our protection in cars. He thanked God that the matatus we were in were all safe and the motorcycles we rode didn't crash. He thanked God that we went from point A to point B safely.

One of my girls didn't show up for the meeting on Saturday. So when I got home I texted to make sure everything was ok. The next morning I got a text from her aunt telling me that her cousin was in a fatal car accident on Friday and that they buried the body on Saturday. I was definitely sad for my dear girl. But what struck me the most was that it was a car accident. Her cousin probably got in the matatu not even thinking that her life would end. That's how I get into these matatus daily. It doesn't even cross my mind that it could crash. But the reality is that they do, often. Almost daily. Everyday there is a story in the newspaper about fatal car accidents in the country. Even last night a lorry ran head on into a matatu killing 10 passengers. It took two hours just to get the bodies out of the mangled vehicle.

I can't take it for granted that I have never been in any serious accident. Sure, my car has been bumped around a little, but nothing serious.

Another thing is bombs. Yes, bombs. We had another bombing in Mombasa two nights ago at a local night club. One person died. Five sent to hospital with serious injuries. About two months ago there was another bombing but this time it was thrown into a church crusade. One died. Many injured. Both of these places are areas that I pass frequently. I ams sure my feet have stepped on the very ground. It's sobering.

Although it's annoying, I am definitely ok with having a metal detector feel me up and some strange woman rummage through my purse every time I go to church or enter the supermarket. I know I am bomb free and at least I know everyone else is too.

I am so thankful that He protects every step I take. I am sure I walk amongst or interact with some shady characters who could mug me, molest me, steal me, hurt me, or whatever. But I have never had anything stolen from me or never felt my safety has been compromised. My house has never been broken into or even my clothes have never been stolen off the line.

So Kelvin and I will keep sending up prayers for protection and utter praises and thanksgivings for our safety. We serve an amazing God.

It's disturbing me...

Kenyans love the word "disturbing".

"Teacher, he is disturbing me." "My kid has been disturbing me for a new phone." "These issues with my families have been disturbing me." "This pain in my stomach is really disturbing me." 


But for the last few days, something has been disturbing me.

We got news on Monday that one of our boys was really sick in bed. We knew this boy has been sick and I had started getting worried. He had been losing weight and missing practice. But when Kelvin heard he was in bed, he said enough is enough, and decided to take him to the hospital.

Kelvin went to the boys house only to be completely horrified upon entering. The house was disgusting. It was in terrible shape and incredibly dirty. He walked up to the door of the boy's room and refused to go in because his room was so filthy. Kelvin said there was nothing to cook with - no plates, cooker, food, cutlery, nothing. There was no water so all the clothes were dirty. And the mattress the boy and his brother slept on was paper thin. It really startled Kelvin.

This particular boy is one that we have sponsored. We also pay his rent because we realized that he couldn't afford to live if he was in school full time. So we offered to pay his rent and agreed with his sister that she will feed him. This boy has also caused us no end of problems. He has skipped school, been caught smoking, has lied to our faces, and been kicked off the team several times.

So Kelvin got him out of bed and took him to the doctor. The doctor said he has a severe case of scabies.  He has wounds all over his body. I mean all over his body. The poor boy.

The doctor gave him medicines and instructions to clean himself, his stuff and his place. The thing with scabies is that they are extremely contagious. His whole house is probably infested with them. It takes some thorough cleaning to make sure they go away. Trust me, I've had scabies.

As Kelvin was telling me the whole story, I was totally disturbed. Not because it was gross, but because we had no idea he lived like this. In our minds, we thought we had done something great for him only to realize he still had so much need. I can't blame the boy too much. Yes, he is older and should start taking responsibility for his cleanliness and living space. But the boy has no parents. And the ones he had weren't the greatest parents. He is one of 14 kids so naturally some of them get neglected. My mother was the one who taught me how to take care of my stuff, keep clean, and organize my life. Now if i didn't have her, I can't imagine the life I would be living. Same for this boy. No one has taught him. And no one is there to look out for him. He doesn't have a penny to his name. Thats why he couldn't get himself to the hospital. He can't even afford water (which is roughly 4cents for like 20 litres) to bath, wash his clothes, clean his house.

So it's been disturbing me the last few days.

Kelvin and I talked about taking a more holistic approach to sponsoring someone. A lot of the youth we sponsor end up having other issues that go alongside. Some of them can't afford to get to school, some can't eat or pay rent because they are not working, some have babies who need them and can't find someone to look after them while they go to school. So we are praying and brainstorming ideas about to take a more holistic approach to helping them.

One of our ideas involves housing. I thought of originally renting out a big room, filling it with nice stuff, and putting all the boys who need a little helping with their living situation in there. That way they are accountable to one another, they are accountable to us, and at least we know they are taken care of for a while. Kelvin even thought of one day opening a youth home for young people to live in. One of our boys once said to us, "I don't need a sponsorship or a loan for business. I can hustle for my food. The best thing you could help me with is to help with my living expenses." What if these young people (mostly boys) didn't have the pressure of their living expenses, and could work to put themselves through school or save up money to buy their own house or open their own business? All they need is a little help.

It's just an idea/vision right now but who knows, one day it might be a reality. At least for now we know that one of our boys is on his way to become scabies free.

A small glimpse into my week

It's Monday, the start of a new week. So far this morning I have spent a few hours trying to mop up all the dust and dirt and other yuckies around my house. We have a tiny house that seems to get so dirty so quickly. I guess it doesn't help much that there is a huge building project in our backyard that is creating hoards of dust. Sometimes I can see the streams of dust floating through the window. On the bright sigh, it is a delightful overcast day. Mombasa is finally cooling down. 

Anyways, here are a few shots of my week. I have been terrible at communicating and taking pictures in the past few weeks. I promise to try harder. 

The moon

I sat in awe as I watched the moon rise high above the boys as they practiced one night. The boys are back on track with practicing. They won their first game of the league on Saturday. I wasn't there but I heard they were elated and celebrated with vuvuzela's and lots of chanting/singing. 

Groove

Last sunday, the biggest concert in the nation came and did its final show in Mombasa. The Groove tour sets up stages all across the country and profiles the hottest gospel music artists in the country. In Kenya, more often than not, the top songs on the charts are all gospel tunes. It's pretty rad although I feel sometimes we've lost the art of 'worship music'. But at least the lyrics are somewhat clean and holy...

Security was tight with threats of terrorists and such. We went through 4 different security guards just to get through the gates. Once inside, police and security were everywhere, including some 'hidden' police mingling amongst the crowds. With thousands of people inside, they did a pretty good job on the security front. No bombs. That's always a good thing. 

Kelvin and I got cozy in the back sitting on the bleachers in the shade. We totally enjoyed ourselves. I loved seeing some of our boys and some of the ladies. The concert was FREE and close to Kongowea. My heart was happy seeing them enjoying themselves. 

Cooking adventures


My new resolution is to cook nicer food at home and eat out less. Eating out adds up and I can make yummier, cheaper food at home. So this week saw me make pizza, baked chicken, toasted cheese, pumpkin cookies, coconut meat stew and pasta alongside the usual rice, beans, ugali, and sukuma.

I had been wanting to learn to cook the local pilau for a while now. From what I had heard, it was fairly easy and pretty cheap. One of my ladies, Susan, offered to take me home after our meeting on Saturday to teach me how. We giggled the whole way through the process and ended up making some pretty delicious pilau. It passed my husbands standards which is really what I strive for. The real test will be when I try cook it myself at home.

Missin' my Momma 


Yes, Mother's day really made me long for my momma. These are the days I wish I was closer and could celebrate my mother the way she deserves. Good thing I have a pretty rad brother who managed to treat my mom to a nice dinner and her favourite flowers. I did manage to squeeze in a short Skype date with mom in the morning. Thank the Lord for Skype. I wasn't the only one longing for my mom. Neema was practically trying to scratch her way through the screen to get to her.

Journalling


A dear wife/friend/mentor of mine recently encouraged me to start journalling. I used to journal a lot in Kenya mostly because everything was so new and cool and noteworthy. Now I am used to life so it doesn't seem to be worth writing down. But I bought this cute little notebook (that a friend makes and sells for super cheap) and have been writing almost every day. It's been really relaxing to just sit and write openly and honestly about whatever is on my mind.

A new schedule


When we came back from our trip, we knew that we needed to shift some things around in our life and focus on what's really important. The last few months were hard as we tried to balance starting a business, working with the youth, and focusing on being newly married. So now Kelvin has trained one of our boys to manage the business for a few hours in the day leaving us with the mornings together. It has made such a huge difference! We wake up slowly and eat breakfast together while watching our favourite morning shows. We clean up, spend some time reading God's word and just hang out. Sometimes we watch a movie or just talk. Around noon I start preparing lunch and after that Kelvin heads out. He gets what needs to be done in the office before he goes to practice with the boys. I usually plan something for the afternoon. I have been actually heading to Kongowea more to meet up with my ladies one on one. Then we come back home together in the evenings, cook supper, and relax.

This new schedule has not only helped our relationship but also the youth we work with. We find we have more time and energy to pour into them which is what they really need most. It is also what makes us thrive too!

I am grateful the way God has worked it all out.

As for this week, we are still busy. Tonight I am headed to Kongowea to meet with one of my ladies and take some head shots of the boys for a fundraiser happening in Canada. Then the rest of the week is filled with wedding meetings, visiting, bible studies, office work, and, well, sweet time with those who matter most.

An update on our youth

I thought I would just give you a little glimpse into what is happening with the youth we work with.

The boys:


While we were away, its seems that the team sort of crumbled. We were getting text message cries from the boys telling us that their morale was dropping and they were having issues with the coach. We had hired a coach as to relieve Kelvin from being at practice every  night so he could be with his wife. But that backfired. Upon returning, we 'released' the coach (although at that point he was ready to leave too) and had a few players leave the team. You see, another team in Kongowea has been enrolled in the same league as us. A man vying for a political seat decided to sponsor them. I don't know all the details, but some of our boys decided to leave to play for this team, including our captain. Lucky for us, the boys who left were ones who had just joined the team, not ones who have been with us for the past 2 years.

During our trip, Kelvin started sensing that God really needs him to focus more on the boys. He has now rearranged his schedule to fit me, work, and the boys in nicely.

This week, we asked the boys to fill out the same sheet on Visions and Goals that I had my ladies fill out. Honestly, the answers were hilarious. Some of the boys really did a good job. You could tell they thought it through and were serious about it. But some just filled it out like all the others. One thing that impressed me was that, many of them wanted to get rid of bad company in their lives. They want to actively chose to hang out with people that will lead them into good rather than bad. Other than that, all of them pretty much put the same things: get a god-fearing wife, preach peace and unity, play good football, get a nice job, be a noble person, etc. One of the questions on the page was, "What are some things that could hinder you?" and pretty much every boy put "death"! Ha, yes I guess if you died, you wouldn't be able to accomplish your goals. One boy was even more dramatic putting 'to be demolished.' Yah, that would hinder you. But the funniest of all was one boy who must have had someone fill out his form for him. On the form it talked about how he wanted to get an 'A' in his examination, finish his studies well and get a God fearing wife. The funny part is that this boy doesn't even go to school and he already has a wife! We had a good chuckle at that.

All in all, they seem to be back on track. They are all 'busy'. None are sitting idle like so many other young men in the area. We hired one of them to look after the centre and the equipment. Kelvin told me that he saved his money and enrolled himself into driving school! Kelvin is also trying to meet with some of them who accepted Christ in the past few months for a small bible study.

And finally, yesterday, there was a big wedding in the area. The brother of one of our boys was marrying the sister to another one of our boys. Weddings, especially islamic weddings, are quite the ordeal here lasting 2 days with lots of yummy food. So yesterday, Kelvin managed to get all of our boys into the mosque (where lunch was served) and they all ate huge plates of biryani. I am just happy knowing they went home with full bellies.

Which is more than I can say about my ladies...

The ladies:


We resumed our ladies meetings yesterday. I had missed these girls so much for the past 2 weeks! I planned to make beaded necklaces with them. I have this vision/dream to start making jewelry with them and then we can try sell it to make some money for us as a group. So we started slow yesterday. I was praying that they would catch on to it. Well, the instant they laid their eyes on the beads, they were hooked! Three and a half hours later, I had to practically shove them out the door, wrapping up beads for 'goodie bags' for them to take home and finish. They loved it! I will be trying out more types of jewelry in the next couple weeks.

On my way out, one of the girls came up to me and told me about the rough month she was having. She is a teacher and is also still studying. I guess this month she had to pay some huge school fees and she didn't get paid since it was a holiday month. She told me that, for the rest of this month, she only has $6 to live off of. My heart sank. She said it with that fake, giggly smile people get when they are really sad but don't want to let on. I knew we needed to talk more, a heart to heart, so we made plans to meet monday evening for supper and some girl chat.

This week, I am starting a bible study with some of my girls! This has been a dream of mine for a long time and the door has finally opened. I had mentioned it to one girl a few weeks ago, just asking if she would be interested. She enthusiastically said "Yes!" The next week, I had about 3 other girls come up to me saying they want to join to (I guess the word got out.) So Wednesday, we will be starting. My heart really broke for my ladies when one of them told me she had a sister at home who wanted to join the group but she had a baby. I asked why that was a problem and she told me that her sister had the baby out of wedlock and most christian organizations shun that type of stuff. My heart broke. That's not God's heart! That's not what God thinks of this lady and her baby!! That's when I knew I needed to start teaching these girls really what God is all about.

As for us:


We are realizing more and more that the best thing we can give our beloved youth is ourselves. They just need our company, guidance, wisdom, love, acceptance, and compassion. We are trying to figure out just how we can do that. Kelvin has hired one of the boys to help out with the business so that Kelvin only has to work part time so he has more time for me and the boys. It's a balancing act for sure! Pray that God would guide us in being available for these young people we love so dearly.